Join a Mailring at the
Teacher Mailring Center
http://www.teachers.net/mailrings/
*sunnie* - Welcome to tonight's Focus Session, "Private Security and Self Defense" shall we get started???
*sunnie* - just a little background for those who don't know me :-)
*sunnie* - I taught elem for 15 yrs--did pi work for 5 yrs---and have taught self defense and violence prevention for 2 yrs now. I go into businesses and schools ... and will hopefully soon become a real crime prevention specialist thru the police dept.
*sunnie* - I'm going to start with some statistics.....then some basic info.....and anytime you want to ask questions---we can go off on a tangent---no problem*sunnie* - these are scary but true statistics--and there are many more that I can't type so fast :-)
- over 70% of women in the us have encountered violent crime
- every hour 78 women are raped
- every day about 3000 women report being victims of some type of forced aggression
- 1 in 4 college age women are victims of sexual assault
- 57% occur on dates
- 42% told no one
- among high school kids---76% of boys believe forced sex is ok
- and get this----56% of girls believe forced sex is acceptable at times
- each yr more than 4600 children are abducted by strangers
*sunnie* - the main excuse for not learning self defense.....is that *it can't happen to me*
*sunnie* - I think it's obvious from the stats that it happens all to often to people everywhere
Alexis - I can certainly believe the statistic about 1 in 4 college age women being victims of sexual assault...college was only a short while ago, and it was known and heard of...on lots of campuses!
*sunnie* - in every seminar I do--I always ask--who know someone who has been a victim of some type of crime and in every class or auditorium---more than 75% of hands go up
Alexis - I would honestly think that the stat would be even be higher---so many women say nothing.
*sunnie* - personal safety /self defense is awareness and prevention more than anything else
cassie - I know many, Sunnie....I've worked with victims of domestic violence and have had personal experience....*hand Up*!!!
*sunnie* - it is common sense and street smarts
Kelee - Sunnie, I've received a threatening letter. A month ago.
*sunnie* - it is self confidence
Alexis - Kelee--was it from someone you knew? very well?
5th NC - A student of mine was sexually assaulted and murdered in October 98
*sunnie* - it is intuition more than anything--and I'll talk about that more in a minute
*sunnie* - it is choices and taking control
cassie - self confidence is certainly the key...low confidence/esteem and you are in trouble
Kelee - Police don't know.
*sunnie* - t is knowing how to not be a victim
cassie - oh, 5th....!!!
Kelee - Sunnie, It's really put a scare into you.
*sunnie* - INTUITION acts as an early warning ---and you can train yourself to recognize and listen to it
*sunnie* - I have a whole seminar just on intuition
cassie - gut, Sunnie?
*sunnie* - here's a great book on intuition---GET IT TOMORROW----
The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
5th NC - I am a true believer in "gut" feelings.
*sunnie* - absolutely cassie---gut feeling, flash or image, warning bell or alarm in your brain, and general tension or feeling of electric energy in your body---all of these are intuition
Kelee - `Sunnie, How do you shake the fear that someone could be watching you?
cassie - I've been teaching my children to use their gut about things
*sunnie* - women who are survivors of assault often say they had a feeling something was wrong--they just didn't listen to it
cassie - woman of repeated violence, also have a feeling about when another beating is going to happen...even if it's a week of so away!!!
*Sunnie* - Kelee--there's a diff between paranoia/constant worry and intuition---the book I told you about is great at explaining the difference
*Sunnie* - in the areas of awareness and prevention---there are 3 steps to an assault---knowing them could save your life1st----targeting*Sunnie* - you have to realize that not all strangers are bad people---and we need to teach children this too
if someone comes up to you and offers help or asks directions --- you should never be afraid to be rude, say NO firmly and mean it, if you're not firm---that says you may be an easy victim---they go to the second stage at that time
2nd---testing
this is where someone will try to establish a rapport with you, make you feel like you're in the *same boat* ex---since it's raining and we don't have umbrellas--we'll just run together to the parking garage. there are all sorts of manipulative ways to do this---we do role playing in seminars. someone may say--let me help with those bags---I'll just take them to your car and then leave---I promise, an honest person never has to say *I promise*
3rd--- if after all this---you've allowed someone to get too close---that's the 3rd stage---the assault itself
Alexis - Kelee--Have you felt like this recently? since the letter?
Alexis - Role playing would seem to really beneficial--help to realize what things can be manipulative!
*Sunnie* - there are also 3 rules for surviving an assault
*Sunnie* - the first is REACT IMMEDIATELYvictims act in predictable ways---you need to act in an unpredictable way, speed and surprise are your best weapons that can overpower strength and power. for example, instead of pulling away from an assailant---push toward him if you're grabbed, that puts him off-balance mentally, as well as physicallyAlexis - Smart idea!!!
cassie - I would never think of doing that!
*Sunnie* - we practice all sorts of techniques like this
*Sunnie* - the 2nd rule is RESISTresisting can be as simple as saying NO I DO NOT WANT YOUR HELP WITH MY BAGS. it can be screaming and running. the more forceful and loud you are--the more chance of scaring him away. you have to understand the psychology of attackers/predators here---- they do not want to be caught---they do not want you to draw attention to the situation therefore the more unpredictable you act---the better your chances*Sunnie* - the final rule of survival is DON'T GO TO A SECOND CRIME SCENEdo not under any circumstances allow yourself to be dragged away from where you are confronted or dragged into a car. that puts him in control. your best chance at fighting is at the very beginning and I have to say here---that I--nor anyone---can ever tell you what to do in a situation---- with training---you can learn to evaluate for yourself---the predator and the situation. sometimes it's better to fight---- and sometimes it may be better not to fight, but whatever you do---NEVER GIVE UP! if you decide not to fight at the beginning---that's not to say you will not have another chance---because you will*Sunnie* - any questions so far :-)
SURVIVAL is what counts
*Sunnie* - there are lots of escape techniques---I love teaching them to children
5th NC - no I understand so far.
Alexis - I don't think I have ?s, but this is great info Sunnie!!!
cassie - You're doing great Sunnie.....many assaults occur from familiar people.....same rules apply?
*Sunnie* - absolutely cassie
Alexis - The "surprise" techniques sound great!!!
*Sunnie* - here are some prevention techniques------- bye the way--I wrote a book with all this and more research and info in it
cassie - can I get a copy
*Sunnie* - there are self defense techniques I teach for permanently disabling someone---a survival situation and techniques to use in --for example---dating situations--where you don't want to permanently hurt someone--you just want to escape
Alexis - How are you disabling them? physically? their sight?
*Sunnie* - email me your snail mail and I'll send you a copy
*Sunnie* - tell you what----let me give you a few defense strategies---then I'll tell you some self defense * to permanently injure or kill*
*Sunnie* - Alexis--yes I'm talking about jabbing eyes--smashing larynx--that sort of thing
*Sunnie* - ok here goes again :-)
*Sunnie* - attackers like docile and easy victims. carry yourself in a confident manner, listen to your intuition---don't panic---just leave an uncomfortable situation. if confronted--keep calm and maintain confidence--show that you are not a wiling victim. run and scream if you can. attempt to scare off your attacker---be as loud as you can---by the way---never scream help--it doesn't work---
cassie - what about yelling "FIRE"!!!
*Sunnie* - scream FIRE and teach your kids this too
*Sunnie* - LOLOL cassie---you're a step ahead of me
Alexis - Why doesn't HELP work? Back to Psychology, everybody thinks someone else will Help?
cassie - GMTA!!!
*Sunnie* - keep moving--if you can't get away--be prepared to use whatever force is necessary to survive
*Sunnie* - people ignore *help*
*Sunnie* - there was a study done---- police took kids into a park and told them to yell for help----- they were ignored----
*Sunnie* - in the high schools---I tell the kids to go into the parking lot and yell help--see who looks, then yell fire and see who looks
cassie - makes sense
*Sunnie* - guess who gets the most looks!!!!!!
*Sunnie* - KEEP IN MIND----
*Sunnie* - nothing works all the time, if your first response is not enough--do not give up
Alexis - very true!
*Sunnie* - don't let fear overwhelm you---you will get hurt---you need to practice visualization and quick response
*Sunnie* - you face serious injury
*Sunnie* - but survival is what counts here
cassie - I'm always afraid I'd freeze and be able to yell or do anything from fear!!!!!
5th NC - What if there is a weapon?
*Sunnie* - keep thinking of ways to escape
*Sunnie* - always listen to your fear
cassie - not be able to yell
*Sunnie* - be willing to be rude, to yell, or to run without being embarrassed
*Sunnie* - gotta a story to tell here :-)
*Sunnie* - I always look under my car in a parking lot at night
*Sunnie* - the first few times I did it--- I was a little embarrassed---- especially when some little old lady asked me if I'd lost something LOL
Alexis - Always look in your backseat too!!!
cassie - I look in the back seat!
*Sunnie* - true Alexis---and invest in remote keyless entries for cars--you can have them installed in older cars too
*Sunnie* - and have a cell phone for emergencies if you can
Alexis - I want that on my next car!
cassie - old, old, '87 car here!!!
cassie - got a cell phone finally!!!
5th NC - Doesn't a keyless entry open all doors?
*Sunnie* - always be alert and aware of your surroundings
*Sunnie* - don't fight unless absolutely necessary
*Sunnie* - no 5th----first button opens driver door only
5th NC - ok.
*Sunnie* - if you hit button 2nd time--that opens all the rest of the doors
*Sunnie* - IF YOU MUST ACT--DO IT FAST AND GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT
5th NC - What if there is a weapon present?
5th NC - Same thing applies?
*Sunnie* - if someone follows you in a car--what should you do??? or if someone bumps into you from behind--even in broad daylight
*Sunnie* - ahh 5---weapons is a whole new ball game---and a totally diff seminar
5th NC - cell phone for the bumps....without getting out of the car.
*Sunnie* - 5---actually--keep in mind that fighting off an attacker with a gun or knife is preferable to being killed---injuries will result of course---but survival is what counts
5th NC - ok.
*Sunnie* - if you're bumped--don't get out---5 is right--use a cell phone--or drive to a well-populated or well-lit area before getting out
Alexis - Can I share a story with you?
*Sunnie* - please Alexis----I need to rest my fingers LOL
Alexis - A male friend of mine was driving to the mall in his car with his girlfriend in her own car. Along the way, a car of 4 guys drove up to HER car and started honking at her, yelling etc, and swerving all over the place. The GUY (my friend) ended up passing this car and gave them a nasty look saying "Leave her alone...my girlfriend look!" Then, he pulled into mall parking lot--in the middle of the day-- to wait for his girlfriend who got stuck at the light
*Sunnie* - one thing men fail to realize is that being macho is only escalating a situation
Alexis - Well, the car full of guys got thru light. They pulled up beside him in the parking lot. One guy--who happened to be completely DRUNK--jumped out and punched GUY five times in his face!! Friend had car window down, they were electric, but had car turned off! They just busted him in the face and jumped back into car and took off!!!
5th NC - did they catch the guys?
Alexis - He had two great black eyes over the whole ordeal!!
cassie - oh my goodness...that is terrible...looks like you are right about the macho thing Sunnie!!
*Sunnie* - I really have a hard time with men and boys teaching this stuff--they like to be protective
Alexis - Friend never saw the license plate, and no one waiting in parking lot saw it either! Great huh?
*Sunnie* - but in reality they are only making it worse
5th NC - that's awful!
*Sunnie* - that's too bad Alexis---I'd have loved to see the looks on their faces when the cops showed up
cassie - Where was the girlfriend when all of this happened?
Alexis - I think he did make it worse by giving the look, but who knows what could have happened to HER if he didn't get their attention!
Alexis - The girlfriend was still at the light...the car full of guys got thru the light before her!! As she pulled up, they were pulling around and taking off...she didn't even know what happened until she got to his car!
*Sunnie* - if someone is bothering you in a car--- you should drive to a police station if possible or at least a well-populated store---leave the car by the door---- and run inside screaming, but take your keys :-)
5th NC - I find that if a girl follows the guidelines Sunnie has told us, men USUALLY leave them alone.
Alexis - Don't forget the KEYS!!!!
*Sunnie* - ya'll ready for some down & dirty street fighting techniques??? we never practice these :-)
*Sunnie* - LOL Alexis---GMTA again
Alexis - YEAH!!!!
Alexis - GMTA?
*Sunnie* - GMTA great minds think alike LOL
*Sunnie* - actually these are deadly if done right
*Sunnie* - first---target areas
*Sunnie* - in order
*Sunnie* - eyes, throat, bridge of nose, knees, feet, shins, ears, temples, underarms
*Sunnie* - none of these are protected by muscle or fat--so size does not matter
Alexis - Cool!!!!
*Sunnie* - any strike to any of these targets will hurt and distract---it works on everyone
*Sunnie* - the only thing that matters is how fast and how hard you hit
cassie - sounds effective!!!
Alexis - Let's practice!!! Just kidding!!
*Sunnie* - all you need is a distraction so you can run away
cassie - I just pointed to all the areas on me to help remember
*Sunnie* - now strike techniques for these target areas-----
5th NC - bridge of nose? Not the nose itself?
*Sunnie* - right 5----think about it---have you ever had something accidentally bump the bridge of your nose, the bridge of your nose hit hard--can cause extreme pain--cause the eyes to water---
*Sunnie* - your best weapon is your thumbs or fingers to jab the eyes
*Sunnie* - and the instinctive reaction is to put your hands up to your nose or face
*Sunnie* - and if your attacker reaches for his face--you are free to run
*Sunnie* - the next strike is hard to visualize
*Sunnie* - take you index and middle fingers--hold them out straight with middle overlapping index finger
cassie - got it...hard to type this way!
*Sunnie* - that gives strength to middle finger---jab the hollow of the throat right below Adam's apple and above collar bone connections and you'll get a serious pain reaction
*Sunnie* - an open hand strike---
*Sunnie* - hold hand out straight
*Sunnie* - separate thumb from rest of fingers
*Sunnie* - use base of hand to smash at nose or bridge of nose
cassie - ouch
Alexis - I've seen that one before!
*Sunnie* - the next strike is the *claw*
*Sunnie* - curl up thumb to meet index and middle fingers----
*Sunnie* - grab windpipe---squeeze--dig in---and pull
cassie - oh my!!!
*Sunnie* - here's a good one that is never expected
*Sunnie* - if someone has grabbed you from the front--with both hands--arms out straight-----
*Sunnie* - take your thumbs aimed straight up---and jab as hard as you can in the soft spot under their arms----ouch!!!!!!!
cassie - Are all of you practicing in front of the screen as I am?
Alexis - ooohhh...that sounds like a good one!!!
*Sunnie* - or use the claw technique and grab the tendons right at the front of the underarm area---that hurts too---grab, dig in , and pull as hard as you can
Alexis - You bet ya!!!
5th NC - I am practicing on my boyfriend.
cassie - at the connection under the shoulder?
*Sunnie* - right cassie
cassie - don't hurt him, 5th!
Alexis - Keep going!!
*Sunnie* - let's talk about kicks
*Sunnie* - do not ever mistake self defense kicks for karate---it's not the same thing at all
*Sunnie* - never kick at an attacker from a front stance without lots of training--you might miss
Alexis - when you are facing each other, or when he's coming from behind?
*Sunnie* - Alexis--you use kicks from a bear hug from behind
cassie - ah, I bet the shin!!!!
*Sunnie* - scrape your foot hard down his shin and then stomp his instep with all your force
*Sunnie* - he'll let go long enough for you to run away
cassie - owie!!!!!
*Sunnie* - strikes are done in series of three
*Sunnie* - try to visualize this scenario-----
*Sunnie* - someone grabs you from a front stance
*Sunnie* - first thing you do is jab his eyes--hopefully you dig one out---I know--that's yuck--but it's also reality
*Sunnie* - second thing you do is drop-kick his groin--like a football--not with your foot but with your shin between his legs full force
*Sunnie* - the first strike makes him cover his face and pull back--leaving the groin area free for attack
cassie - go Sunnie!!!!
Alexis - I hope 5th isn't practicing this one on boyfriend!!! =)
*Sunnie* - the groin kick---always do this properly please :-) makes him double over---so what's the area that's exposed last
cassie - the top of his head?
*Sunnie* - the back of the head and neck area are now disposed--you have several options here
cassie - I meant the back of his head...really
*Sunnie* - elbows are your best weapon here--to back of head or to back of neck or to temple
*Sunnie* - you can also grab his hair and pull his face down to your raised knee full force
5th NC - I like that one! hehehe!
*Sunnie* - and that's a typical self defense practice strategy--we do that in practice with full padding on the *attacker*
cassie - actually sounds like something I'd be able to do!!! I mean, it doesn't sound like you need to be a super woman to do it!!!1
*Sunnie* - no you don't need to be strong--just fast
Alexis - Slamming face into knee was the one I was thinking of!!
5th NC - I agree cassie!
*Sunnie* - actually---you should run after the first strike if you have a chance of getting away
5th NC - to be fast you have to practice.
cassie - You spoke of visualizing....I guess that would help .....think of how we'd do it and if (heaven forbid) the time came, we could do it!!!1
*Sunnie* - yes--you have to practice--so the moves become instinct ---that way you can do it when you're paralyzed with fear
*Sunnie* - there's also ground fighting-cause women too often end up on the ground
*Sunnie* - but I cant' do that on line LOL
cassie - LOL, Sunnie!
5th NC - boyfriend is now begging me to go home. Thank you Sunnie! I feel better about being out alone at night.
cassie - From what age is it practical to teach a girl these techniques?
Alexis - Yes, thank you Sunnie...you've given us a lot to think about!!
*Sunnie* - I can defend myself against both sons and hubby----I also teach pressure points
*Sunnie* - thanks for being here 5----talk to you again soon
*Sunnie* - 5--email me your addy and I'll send you a book
cassie - 5th....can he make it? sounds like he may be pretty beat up!!! LOL Be careful when you're leaving, and drive carefully!
5th NC - bye all! I have enjoyed being here with you.
*Sunnie* - cassie--I have a special program for kids--but what I'm talking about here--from 11 or 12 and up
cassie - So I could teach, or at least go over these things with my 11 year old daughter?
Alexis - Sunnie-How did you get involved in self defense?
*Sunnie* - absolutely cassie---but it really takes a class of moms and daughters to be effective
*Sunnie* - I decided to learn it when I started pi work Alexis
Alexis - Hmmm...just wondering! Have you ever had to use it?
*Sunnie* - then my arthritis got really bad 4 yrs ago--and I decided to design a program anyone could do
cassie - Sunnie....hopefully, someday, you'll be able to instruct us!!!!!
*Sunnie* - I figured if I could do it anyone could
Alexis - Wouldn't that be awesome!!!
*Sunnie* - shoot--I've taught little old ladies this stuff LOL
cassie - Sunnie...you are awesome...thank you so much for the time and information!!!!
*Sunnie* - never have had to use it---but that's because I believe in awareness and prevention
*Sunnie* - but even so---bad things happen to even the most careful people
Alexis - I am glad that you have never had to use it....what a relief!!!
cassie - good night ladies...and stay safe!!!! Will talk to you soon!
*Sunnie* - ok--nite cassie--and thanks again for being here
