TEACHERS.NET GAZETTE Volume 4 Number 8 COVER STORY New teacher induction . . . what does that have to do with me, a veteran educator? It Takes a Community to Induct a Teacher... REGULAR FEATURES Apple Seeds: Inspirational quotes by Barb Erickson Special Days This Month by Ron Victoria Featured School Classroom Photos by Members of the Teachers.Net Community The Fire of Drift-Wood by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow The Lighter Side of Teaching Boys to Men Bad News For School Year 2003-2004 Georgia's NCLB Head-Tricks Teacher Jokes Schoolies Woodhead Handy Teacher Recipes Classroom Crafts Help Wanted - Teaching Jobs Fun with Food: Hola Jalapeno from the Lesson Bank PRINTABLES Birthday Cards Moose Book Cover and Labels Teddy Bear ABC Chant Reading Log Popcorn Words More Popcorn Words Upcoming Ed Conferences Letters to the Editor TEACHER INSPIRATION "Teacher, You Touched My Life" by anonymous ON-SITE INSIGHTS Making Life Easier in the Classroom from the Teachers.Net Chatboard Teaching Positive Attitude Toward Math by Roger Fuller August Columns August Articles August Informational Items Gazette Home Delivery: Teachers.Net Humor Chatboard... Teachers, yuk it up at the Teachers.Net Humor Chatboard. Contribute your favorite anecdote or joke and put a smile on the face of someone you'll never meet! The Classroom Humor Chatboard is updated regularly by contributions from teachers everywhere - submit your post today! Classroom Humor Chatbord. Teacher Social Chatboard... Teachers, let down your hair on the new Teachers.Net Social Chatboard. Tell a joke, set up a meeting, ask for someone's thoughts or prayers, or just vent or brag about what's new in your life. Bookmark the Teachers.Net Social Chatboard and contribute often.

The Lighter Side of Teaching Here at Teachers.Net we realize that laughter is the best medicine, and we've got your prescription filled! Visit our Classroom Humor Chatboard and combat classroom stress by enjoying the smiles that make teaching so rewarding. © John P. Wood for Learning Laffs   Totally off the record... From totallyofftherecord.com Boys to Men I teach pre-k and was playing the Bridget Jones movie soundtrack during naptime. I had been playing it for about a week when I hear one of my 4-year-old boys singing "It's Raining Men (Hallelujah)." Enjoy more anonymous teacher stories or even share your own at www.TotallyOffTheRecord.com Georgia's NCLB Head-Tricks   © Georgia Hedrick   Bad News For School Year 2003-2004 shared by Jezzy Due to the projected increase in workload in the coming year due to the new master schedule and the No Child Left Behind Act, the district has decided that it can no longer afford for you to take time out of your busy schedule to go to the restroom. Instead, to increase teacher efficiency the district has gone to considerable expense to remodel your classroom over the summer to accommodate your restroom needs starting in August. See classroom layout below. Chuckles Teacher Jokes shared by Frankie Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours? Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it! ♦♦♦ Teacher: What are you reading? Pupil: I don't know. Teacher: But your reading aloud? Pupil: But I'm not listening! ♦♦♦ Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Pupil: Me! ♦♦♦ Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection? Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in! ♦♦♦ Teacher: How can you prove the world is round? Pupil: I didn't say it was! ♦♦♦ Teacher: Name two pronouns? Pupil: Who? Me? ♦♦♦ Teacher: What's an American Indian's wife called? Pupil: A squaw Teacher: That's right, and what are their babies called? Pupil: Squawkers! ♦♦♦ Teacher: Fred, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you've only done it 7 times? Pupil: Looks like my counting isn't too good either! ♦♦♦ Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing has improved. Pupil: Thank you Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though! ♦♦♦ Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making? Dad: Why is that, what are you making? Pupil: Mistakes! ♦♦♦ Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the wife of a Sultan is called? Pupil: A sultana! ♦♦♦ Teacher: Where are elephants found? Pupil: I don't know, they are so big I didn't think they could get lost! ♦♦♦ Teacher: If you add 34, 312 + 76, 188, divide the answer by 3 and times by 4, what do you get? Pupil: The wrong answer! ♦♦♦ Teacher: If there are seven flies a desk and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left? Pupil: Just the squashed one! ♦♦♦ Latest Posts on the Classroom Humor Chatboard... thanksgiving play, 7/07/08, by Nancy Joyce. Why???, 7/02/08, by Sam I Am. Re: Back to School Humor, 7/01/08, by Jeanne Harding. Re: Teacher Retirement Humor, 6/25/08, by Catherine Bell. Re: The Baby Borrowers Re: Good for lazy days , 6/22/08, by Janet Bradley. Good for lazy days , 6/20/08, by Charles Goldstein. Re: funny things kids say, 6/18/08, by Julaina. Re: funny things kids say, 6/18/08, by Brit. Re: funny things kids say, 6/18/08, by Cindy CTAP. Re: Poem for a teacher who is retiring, 6/16/08, by Twyla. Re: The Wisdom of Larry The Cable Guy .. . ., 6/16/08, by J. Bodien. Re: Back to School Humor, 6/15/08, by Anne Ervin. Retirement Song to be Personalized ( Guitar Chords), 6/13/08, by Deb RJO. Retirement Song to be Personalized, 6/13/08, by Deb RJO. Riddle: Galileo and Kepler, 6/12/08, by Monty. Re: Teacher Retirement Humor, 6/10/08, by steve Taylor. Out Of The Mouth Of Babes, 6/01/08, by Sam I Am. Re: math skit, 5/30/08, by bhavya dhawan. Re: Teacher Retirement Humor, 5/28/08, by christine. Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/27/08, by Amy. Re: If you don't straighten up ..., 5/25/08, by Kindergarten kitchen funny. Re: state of the world.., 5/25/08, by It's sad. Re: What a Laugh I Had Today!, 5/20/08, by c. Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/15/08, by Shannon. Re: How to make a board, 5/09/08, by Kevin. Re: Need cute, funny Mother's Day stories , 5/09/08, by Kenneth Hoffman. Re: Need cute, funny Mother's Day stories , 5/08/08, by Stephanie Yuhas. Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/07/08, by Amy. Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/06/08, by Noelle . Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/06/08, by Melissa Cassell. Re: Teacher Beatitudes, 5/04/08, by Daniel. Re: Teacher Beatitudes, 5/04/08, by Daniel. Re: Teacher Beatitudes, 5/04/08, by Daniel. retirement, 5/03/08, by barbara servedio. Re: Teacher Retirement Humor, 5/03/08, by barbara servedio. More Classroom Humor...

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