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Teachers.Net Gazette Vol.5 No.5 May 2008 Cover Story by Todd R. Nelson Only a School. Only a Teacher. School is still, at its heart, a dance of men and women of character. A school is its teachers. Harry & Rosemary Wong An Amazing Kindergarten Teacher I use modified modeling to teach my students the correct procedures. Instead of just telling, I act out the wrong way first.... Columns » Promoting Responsibility - Or How Not ToMarvin Marshall » Differentiated Instruction & Ability GroupingCheryl Sigmon » The Busy Educator's Monthly FiveMarjan Glavac » Counting the days yet?Barbara & Sue Gruber » Problem-Based Learning, Part 3Hal Portner » Successful TeachersLeah Davies Articles » 'Subprime' Is Voted "Word Of The Year" For 2007 » May 2008 Writing Prompts » Use Math's Magic to Intrigue Students Solving Linear Equations » I Choose Teaching - A Meaningful Career » Teacher Appreciation Day: Not Nearly Enough » Treating All Students With Dignity » Two Teachers, Two Philosophies, One Result » Favorite Teacher Appreciation Activities » Academic Writing Guidelines » What is an Effective Teacher? » Drexel Online Education Program Features » Candles of Inspiration: May 2008 » Featured Lessons: May 2008 » Video Bytes: A Hidden Lesson, Baptism By Fire, Mom and more... » Today Is... Daily Commemoration for May 2008 » Live on Teachers.Net: May 2008 » The Lighter Side of Teaching » Apple Seeds: Inspiring Quotes for Teachers » Is a school only as good as the teachers in it? » Teachers' Best Teachers » What Is It About Teaching That Keeps You Going? » Newsdesk: Events & Opportunities for Teachers Advertisement The Teachers.Net Gazette is a collaborative project published by the Teachers.Net community Editor in Chief: Kathleen Alape Carpenter Layout Editor: Mary Miehl Cover Story by Todd R. Nelson Effective Teaching by Harry & Rosemary Wong Contributors this month: Marvin Marshall,Cheryl Sigmon, Marjan Glavac, , Barbara & Sue Gruber, Hal Portner, Leah Davies, Tim Newlin, James Wayne, P.R. Guruprasad, Donna Streetenberger, Alan Haskvitz, Laura Dombrosky Miller, Bill Page, and YENDOR. Submissions: click for Submission Guidelines Advertising: contact Bob Reap Subscribe for free home delivery Email: State: - Select State (required) - Alabama Alaska Arkansas Arizona California Colorado Connecticut Delaware Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington DC Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming -- Canada United Kingdom Australia/NZ Other Featured Advertiser Links FEATURED ADVERTISER LINKS

Classroom Humor... Teachers.Net Favorite The Lighter Side of Teaching Humor from the Teachers.Net Community Teachers.Net Community Regular Feature in the Gazette May 1, 2008 Courtesy learninglaffs.com YENDOR'S TOP TEN: TOP TEN WAYS TO KEEP THE PRINCIPAL OFF YOUR BACK By YENDOR Put an autographed photo of yourself on his desk. Ask him everyday where the bathroom is located. Be sitting in the front seat of his car at the end of each day. Frame a photo of his wife and keep it on your desk. Ask him if he likes gladiator movies. Call him Skippy. Wish him a happy birthday every morning. Ask him if you could paint the schoolbusses pink. Phone him every night at ten and ask him if he's ok. Tell him that there is nobody you "hadn't rather work for." From the Classroom Humor Chatboard Posted by grade one teacher: I teach grade one. One day my 14-year-old daughter was in my classroom with me. The students noticed that she was taller than I am. I jokingly complained that I was the shortest person in my family. One little girl, in an effort to make me feel better, said, "Well, she might be taller, but you're still older." My daughter had a hard time containing her laughter! Posted by Miss BTL: The Beatitudes - The Greatest Lesson Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain, and gathering them around him, he taught them, saying: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are they that thirst for justice. Blessed are you when you suffer. Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven." Then Peter said, "Are we supposed to know this?" And Andrew said, "Do we have to write this down?" And James said, "Will we have a test on this?" And Philip said, "Does this count?" And Bartholomew said, "Do we have to hand this in?" And John said, "The other disciples didn't have to learn this." And Matthew said, "Can I go to the toilet?" And Judas said, "What does this have to do with real life?" Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus' lesson plan and enquired of Jesus, "Where is your anticipatory set and your objectives in the cognitive domain?" And Jesus wept. "Schoolies" and "Mr. Woodhead" courtesy learninglaffs.com » More Gazette articles... Discussion For This Article: Classroom Humor, May 2008 The Lighter Side of Teaching (May 2008 Gazette) See All Comments | Add Your Comment Related Resources & Discussions on Teachers.Net... Teachers.Net Lesson Bank Classroom Humor Chatboard Teacher Mailrings Latest Posts on the Teachers.Net Classroom Humor Chatboard... Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/15/08, by Shannon. Re: How to make a board, 5/09/08, by Kevin. Re: Need cute, funny Mother's Day stories , 5/09/08, by Kenneth Hoffman. Re: Need cute, funny Mother's Day stories , 5/08/08, by Stephanie Yuhas. Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/07/08, by Amy. Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/06/08, by Noelle . Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/06/08, by Melissa Cassell. Re: Teacher Beatitudes, 5/04/08, by Daniel. Re: Teacher Beatitudes, 5/04/08, by Daniel. Re: Teacher Beatitudes, 5/04/08, by Daniel. retirement, 5/03/08, by barbara servedio. Re: Teacher Retirement Humor, 5/03/08, by barbara servedio. Re: Teacher Practical Joke, 5/03/08, by LaurieA. Re: Teacher Practical Joke, 4/27/08, by 3rd Eye. Easy Solution, 4/24/08, by sarah/pk/la. funny things kids say, 4/19/08, by grade one teacher. Re: Back to School Humor, 4/15/08, by kori guyton. Too ADD, 4/10/08, by Sarah/pk/la. Sa..Poop Pledge, 4/05/08, by anon. Teacher Retirement, 4/02/08, by Ann. Snotball, 4/01/08, by sla. A Poem for Teacher, 3/25/08, by B. Re: Point to Ponder, 3/17/08, by Ralph Hathcock. Re: It's in the genes, 3/17/08, by Sara. Re: Overhead projector, 3/16/08, by gene. Teacher Retirement Party, 3/11/08, by Amy Farley. The Lighter Side of Teaching - Teachers.Net Gazette humor, 3/06/08, by Teachers.Net. It's in the genes, 3/02/08, by John B. Re: Teacher Retirement, 2/29/08, by j.. Re: Any humorous skits for teachers?, 2/29/08, by Debbie Ellis. Re: Any humorous skits for teachers?, 2/26/08, by Peter and Cherish. Re: Message to Nathan, 2/22/08, by Kristina. Re: Daddys in jail!, 2/17/08, by FB. Re: Ape Lincoln, 2/17/08, by FB. Re: Teacher Retirement, 2/07/08, by Alice Childs. Discussion

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