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Post: It would be great if reasoning alone was enough, but...

Posted by Mila on 10/21/09

I've watched some of these shows, and I do not agree that
the advice is "atrocious". I find that the "nanny" on the
show does try to address underlying issues within the
family and children's emotional needs. Obviously she can
only do so much within the timeframe alotted. Nobody says
that rewards and punishments should be the only parenting
tool, but often warmth and reasoning are simply not enough.
Children understand at very young age what actions are
right or wrong, but that often doesn't stop them. It would
be great if we didn't have to discipline. It would be also
great if we did not need traffic law enforcement, criminal
law enforcement, tax law enforcement, etc, and everyone
would just do the right thing because everyone is moral and
ethinca, but that's just not reality. Most humans need
limits, whether they are kids or grown-ups, but kids
especially. As far as blindly obeying, just try sending
your 5 year old to a public school kindergarten in NYC, and
see what happens as soon as your kid doesn't follow a
SINGLE direction of a teacher, no matter how silly. You
will be showered with letters from school and "behavior
remediation" services as soon as your kid tries to pick up
some paper pieces from the rug, and you will be constantly
appealed to by the teacher to reward and to punish. And if
you don't comply, next come requests for psychological
assessments and threats that the kid won't go to the next
grade.

If your kids don't need limits, congratulations to you, you
have an easy parenting job ahead of you, but if he/she
does, it is your job as a parent to provide them.

RESPOND TO THIS POST ADD A NEW COMMENT RETURN TO ARTICLE

Posts on this thread, including this one


• Toddlers don't respond well to reason, 6/02/08, by Donna music/TN.
• Re: Toddlers don't respond well to reason, 6/08/08, by Retired educator.
• Re: Toddlers don't respond well to reason, 6/10/08, by Elyse.
• Is Mr. Kohn serious or is this a sarcastic joke?, 7/01/08, by shana.
• Alfie Kohn, 7/31/08, by Jala.
• Defensive, 8/28/08, by Tricia.
• My Experience with toddlers, 8/29/08, by David.
• Couldn't agree w/ Mr. Kohn more if I tried!, 9/04/08, by Teresa.
• It would be great if reasoning alone was enough, but..., 10/21/09, by Mila.