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Re: Toddlers don't respond well to reason
Posted by Retired educator on 6/08/08
Donna, your post makes good sense IMO. Moreso than the
article does. I am very disappointed in Mr. Kohn's hyperbole
and even outright lies. It appears he watched only segments
of certain episodes, instead of getting a good overview IN
CONTEXT!
And what is wrong with CONSISTENCY? If more parents and
teachers were consistent, there would be fewer problems with
the children. It is the inconsistency in discipline that
confuses children, even frustrates them. That frustration
leads to more inappropriate behaviors.
And what is wrong with a TIME OUT? Don't intelligent adults
self impose "time out" such as counting to ten, or reading
what one has written on the internet before hitting SEND. :)
There is no one size fits all method, but the VARIOUS methods
demonstrated by Jo Frost are quite successful for many
people, and anyone who has actually watched most of these
shows knows that there is a lot of variation and modification
of the various techniques.
Go JO!
:)
On 6/02/08, Donna music/TN wrote:
> I can kind of see Kohns point for older children, but with
> a DD just leaving toddlerhood, I have to say this-toddlers
> are a LOT more like animals than they are like, say 6-7 yr
> olds.
>
> For my DD, having things structured even if she doesn't
> want them is important. Because while she will insist, up
> and down, that she doesn't NEED a nap after lunch, if I
> send her to her room and make her lie down and be quiet,
> within an hour, she'll be happy, cheerful, and ready to go
> until bedtime. If I don't, she'll be cranky and upset, and
> often fall asleep on the floor at 5:00-6:00, then not sleep
> that night and be cranky the next day. It's part of my job,
> as mommy to a 3 yr old, to keep her on a regular sleep
> schedule because, at age 3, she's not capable of doing so
> herself yet.
>
> As far as timeouts, for my child, a time out is needed SO
> THAT she can work through a situation rationally, because
> her first reaction is to cry, scream, and generally get
> very upset. For example, she's drawing a picture of
> dinosaurs eating trees and one of the trees spills over
> onto the playroom carpet. I comment "PLease keep your
> drawing on paper", and she looks, sees what she's done, and
> immediately starts crying and screaming. What's really
> going on is that she's upset at herself. She knows the
> rules, she tries to be good, and she truly didn't notice
> that, in her drawing zone, she'd spilled off the paper. Her
> reaction is mostly anger at herself and frustration at
> herself because something she was enjoying had been ruined.
>
> Sending her to her chair for a short time-out lets her
> scream and cry and work through her emotions so that then
> we can look at the damage, she can suggest what to do
> (clean it up), and we can clean up the mess and go on. BUt
> that short time out is needed because, at 3, she's still
> operating on emotion first, rational thought later.
>
> When she's 5, 6, 7, she may not need the time out first,
> and be able to move to the logical consequence. But at 3,
> she's simply not rational yet.
>
>
Posts on this thread, including this one
Toddlers don't respond well to reason, 6/02/08, by Donna music/TN.
Re: Toddlers don't respond well to reason, 6/08/08, by Retired educator.
Re: Toddlers don't respond well to reason, 6/10/08, by Elyse.
Is Mr. Kohn serious or is this a sarcastic joke?, 7/01/08, by shana.
Alfie Kohn, 7/31/08, by Jala.
Defensive, 8/28/08, by Tricia.
My Experience with toddlers, 8/29/08, by David.
Couldn't agree w/ Mr. Kohn more if I tried!, 9/04/08, by Teresa.
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