Coaching the Urban Educator – 5 Simple Ways to Teach Positive Self-Talk
By Andrea ClevelandAn advice column, newly re-born on Teachers.net addressing challenges faced by those who teach in urban schools. Andréa Cleveland (formerly Kioni Carter) coaches teachers who are working under what may seem like some of the harshest conditions and circumstances that accompany working in urban districts across the country on what it takes to generate positivity and motivation in their students and in themselves!
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January 2012
5 Simple Ways to Teach Positive Self-Talk
by Andréa Cleveland
Andréa coaches urban school teachers on how to teach positive self-talk as a way to generate authentic motivation in their students and in themselves.
You’ve heard me talk about positive self-talk and how it affects us and our students. The question then becomes, how do I actually teach positive self talk to my students? Well, to answer that question, I have compiled five simple ways to teach this very important skill to your students.
1. Identify
Before you can help your students change their inner messages, you have to first help them identify them. You know when your students are sharing their negative self-talk because it comes in the form of statements like “I can’t do this Ms. S!” or “I am not good at this.” That “I” statement is so powerful and can make or break any child’s confidence in their ability to do well. Though that is the case, some trickier messages to decode may not start with “I” but are just as detrimental such as “You’re always picking on me!” or “You just want me to fail!” What might the child be saying to themselves that would spark a statement like that?
To begin, tell your children that when they use statements like these, a little trigger goes off in their heads that makes them start to really believe what they are saying. Point out the statement they have made and help them to make it into a positive.
2. Reframe
When you hear a child use any of these types of statements, help them to reframe the statement in a more positive light. “I can’t do this” can be turned into “I will master this if I give it time.” “I am not good at this” can be turned into “I am good at anything I put my mind to.” Whatever you say, make sure that the child sees the positive side of what they had been saying previously. Always make sure that the child uses the pronoun “I” in the new statement to make it personal to them. The subconscious mind seems to easily recognize words that identify it like “I” or “me.” Help that child use it to their advantage.
3. Believe
Let your children know that the negative things they have chosen to believe about themselves are only thoughts they have been thinking for a long time and they are not true at all, unless they want them to be. They may have experienced situations where their negative thoughts may occurred to them as true (a L.I.E. or Limited Interpretation of Everything), but that doesn’t mean they can’t change. Let them know that in order to change their old beliefs, they must be willing to believe something new so that they can achieve a different result.
4. Write
Engage your students in the practice of writing down new beliefs. It is very important to solidify anything you want to be a permanent thought or belief in writing. There is something about the process of writing goals or beliefs down that make them more tangible. Writing them down will help the student to actually see it and not think about it as a fly by night fancy. Also, in writing things down there is an important brain-tactile connection that happens so one retains information longer when they write down. After they have written it down, have them post it somewhere where they will see it often. They can tape it to the desk or the front of a notebook. Just make sure that it is somewhere where it is easily accessible.
5. Repeat
Last but not least, encourage students to repeat their new beliefs at least 5-10 times a day. They must be consistent! As educators, we know that repetition is the key to learning anything new. The same goes with creating new and positive thought habits. The same amount of constant reiteration it took to develop a negative belief, is the same amount of constant reiteration it will take to develop a positive belief. Add to their new belief process by pointing out every success they achieve so that it gives them a reason to remember their new thought process and continue to let it flourish in every aspect of their lives!
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Andréa Cleveland is a Brooklyn native, an author, as well as a Certified Professional Coach and educational consultant for urban schools, sharing what works in motivating students genuinely and authentically. She has been an educator in NYC for over 10 years in many capacities, and therefore caters to the urban school community with the express and sole purpose of taking them to a new plateau of thinking and creating in their schools and in their lives. Currently, Andréa provides coaching and training programs for educators in the NYC Public School System as well as in the education-based, non-profit sector. Her primary workshop, My Classroom RULES! is her pride and joy and features the My Classroom RULES membership community that serves as an ongoing and generative coaching and professional development resource for educators seeking ways to motivate their students and teach them the attitude of success. Andréa also provides programs for the urban community at large, including the newest addition, The Power Players Club™. Her dedication to the true transformation of her clients is what got her the name “The Butterfly Queen.” Her workshops and tele-classes have proven themselves to be both dynamic in presentation, and thought provoking in nature. As a result of her need to influence her community and the unique quality of her work, Andréa has been invited to be part of various events, locally, nationally, and internationally. Andréa is a graduate of Cornell University with a major in Human Development and minors in Africana Studies and Dance. Andréa is also a graduate of Long Island University-Brooklyn Campus with a Masters of Science in Elementary Education, and a graduate of the Institute for Professional Empowerment Coaching (iPEC). Andréa uses her straight forward and friendly personality to make her clients feel comfortable, all the while urging them to take the control of their lives that they need to in order to reach their goals. Through personal experience and professionalism, Andréa not only teaches her clients about their own personal power, but also creates a genuine atmosphere for transformation. The name “Kioni” is a Swahili name that means “the one who sees.” Andréa adopted this name to express her clarity of thought as well as her clarity of purpose, as it pertains to her work with her clients and in her community.
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