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“Gentlemen, hold onto your balls!”
By Teachers.Net News Desk
“Gentlemen, hold onto your balls!”
or
Things you never thought you would say – or hear – in class
Real comments from real classrooms!
Posted by kindred
“Please do not lick (insert child’s name)’s face.”
Posted by Lisa
A funny conversation . A boy (6 years old) said, “I put my tongue on something hard and it got stuck.” (meaning a frozen pole). My co-teacher said “You probably should keep your tongue off hard things.” Someone walking by just stopped & gave her a funny look. She turned beet red and we all had a good laugh! 
Posted by anon
“That was very childish.” (said to a second grader!)
Posted by PST
“Would you like me to punch you?” (I have a punch card system where they can earn privileges, etc. for acquiring punches for book reports, completed projects, kind behaviors.)
Posted by jenny/2/oh
Just yesterday I said,” You need to keep your breath inside your mouth and not on other people’s faces.”
Posted by Kit
We should all get stoned,” to a student after talking about “The Lottery” with a group of high school seniors.
Posted by anon
“Gentlemen, hold your balls or you’re gonna lose them!”
As soon as it was out of my mouth, I realized what I had said. They just busted out laughing. But they stopped bouncing the balls in the hallway.
Posted by pizwit
One of the Kinder kids was trying to get something hooked…I told her…..to bring it to me because “I am a fantastic hooker.”
I was taking a coed HS PE class from an indoor gym to an indoor “field” house next door for a blocked PE class. Knowing that footballs were already at the facility and that many of the students wanted to play soccer, I loudly announced, “Make sure you have the balls you want to play with before we leave.” After the laughter died down one of the other teachers present suggested I just get someone to carry the soccer balls.
Posted by gayle/3
“Stop picking stuff out of your belly button and eating it!”
Posted by jme
1. I was trying to get my students to come up with the word “fair,” which I had thought would be easy for them to come up with. So I shouted, “Come on! Think of a four letter F-word!” just as the assistant principal walked past my open door. She just looked in, gave us a funny look, and walked on. The class and I just laughed. I never did tell her what F-word I was looking for, and she never asked.
2. When a girl said, “Mrs. Jme, so-and-so just poked me in the ribs.” Trying to be funny (but not as funny as I ended up being, as it turned out), I asked, “Well, where would you rather he poke you?” As I was saying that I thought, Oops, how do I unsay that? The kids were trying so hard NOT to laugh, I just said, “Okay, you know that’s not what I meant. Go ahead and laugh.” We all did.
Posted by Donna music/TN
“Let me put on your G String!”
Which only makes sense if you know this was a beginning guitar class, and a student had nicely loosened his to the point it was falling off. Just glad that the kids didn’t know the other meaning of the term!
Posted by anon
“If you do that again I will take your lung away from you!”
Third graders created models of lungs with straws and balloons. Yes, some children did lose their “lungs”, at least for a little while.
“Do you know how to put your leg back on?”
It was this K class’ FIRST library visit. I didn’t know he had a false leg until story time is interrupted with: “Hey! Bobby pulled my leg off!” I look down from the book . . . and . . . A CHILD IS MISSING a LEG! In my head: Everyone walked in here on two legs. What the h e double
hockey sticks?
It took me a few seconds to process the fact that it had to be a false leg. I’m sure my face was very strange looking for a moment before I got it together. Um. . . okay sweetie, do you know how to put your leg back on?
Posted by Rene
One of our 6th grade teachers had outside break duty. As they were making their way back inside the building some boys were bouncing basketballs. The teacher said to them, “Boys, hold onto your balls!” Luckily the boys didn’t pick up on what was just said, but the teacher was embarrassed when she realized it.
