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Top 10 Comical Tips for Flu Season
By Humorist John P. Wood
By John P. Wood – LearningLaffs.com
10. Stay home from work, school, and errands when you are
sick. Even if you think you might be sick. Even if you are
just thinking about being sick. You probably shouldn’t have
started reading this list.
9. When you are sick, keep your distance from others to
protect them from getting sick too. Move to Greenland.
Insist that students stay outside of your personal space
bubble. Make your bubble about fifty feet in diameter.
7. Collect papers from students and pass out papers to
students with a long stick.
6. Avoid touching your eyes, nose, or mouth. Germs are often
spread when a person touches something that is contaminated
with germs and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth.
Use a different long stick for your eyes, nose, or mouth.
5. Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or
sneeze. And since some sneezes can sneak up on you, it’s
best to just wrap your head in tissue.
4. If you don’t have a tissue, cough or sneeze into your
sleeve. If you don’t have a sleeve, find someone who does.
3. Wash your hands after you cough or sneeze. And if you
used a sleeve, you may have some laundry to do too.
steamed twice a week got half as many colds as those who
didn’t. Remember, there are a lot of ways to get steamed at
school.
1. Relax. There’s evidence that relaxation boosts your
immune system. Train yourself to picture an image you find
pleasant or calming. Think about the poor substitute teacher
who will replace you when you get sick and move to Greenland.
