oops! i meant josie!!
On 11/03/09, mART wrote:
> thank you so much for all the advise! I appreciate it so much and I feel
> more prepared to deal with this tomorrow.
> thanks again!
>
> On 11/03/09, Josie wrote:
>> Yikes, Definitely some sort of intervention is needed here, but with 3
>> days left....really not a whole lot you can do but just get through.
>>
>> If you have her again next year (God forbid! LOL) set herself up to
>> succeed by forming a relationship with her right off the bat. Get to
>> know her as much as you can. Get her involved in the art room on day
>> one: Could she help you load the kiln in the morning if she's there
>> early, or after school? Hook her in with something fun though---
>> You'd "pay" her for her time by teaching her how to use the pottery
>> wheel, or make something extra out of clay. Give her a job with some
>> responsibility attached---she will hopefully want to rise to the
>> occassion. This will also give you one on one time together so you can
>> do some bonding with her. Yes, it is taking lots of your time now, but
>> it will be well worth it if you can get her to a point when all you
>> have to do is give her a look and she'll behave.... just because she
>> doesn't want to let you down. Now THAT would be a glorious day~ lol
>> However, while you are waiting for this magical thing to happen, you
>> need to do damage control in the classroom.
>>
>> If things start to progress to the point that you are at now, then I
>> would sit her down alone and explain that while you might have let this
>> behavior continue last year, you will not allow it to go on this year.
>> You may want to acknowledge that you did allow more than you will allow
>> this year so she knows right off the bat that "times they are
>> a'changing." Tell her there will be a consequence each and every time
>> she misbehaves (stay consistent.... you could take her stick the first
>> time (or whatever behavior modification technique you use in the room)
>> and the next time, move her seat. If she carries on, silently put a
>> note down (I used to pre-print them when I had a student like this---a
>> boy, a couple years back) that says "next reminder will be lunch with
>> me." TRY not to call attention to your 'reminders'---quickly deliver
>> the reminder (as you continue to teach) and walk away as to not engage
>> her in a power struggle.
>>
>> I really like lunch detentions because:
>> 1.) They REALLY inconvenience the student: The last thing they want is
>> to lose out on that social time
>> 2.) They are fairly immediate (unless you have her after lunch...
>> hopefully you do not!) because the consequence is served many times a
>> period or two later.
>> 3.) They give you a chance to mentor/talk with the student one on one.
>> This is the only way to reach many of them, and many times there simply
>> isn't enough time in the day to get to know them. Lunch detentions
>> give you that opportunity. Cleaning the room together is a great way
>> to keep busy and talk at the same time.... Ask her to help clean
>> brushes. Most kids don't like to sit there anyway and would rather
>> have a task. If she's really angry, she may say no. Don't act mad, or
>> disappointed.... simply say "ok---no problem, you may just sit---just
>> thought I'd throw it out there if you were bored" and then YOU continue
>> to clean some brushes. The next time, I bet she'll take you up on it
>> if you ask in the same non threatening manner. She will be more apt to
>> chat with you if you are both busy in a task--- it will be less
>> intimidating than if you're sitting at your desk asking her questions.
>>
>> This is likely to work if:
>> 1.) You are consistent: She ALWAYS receives this consequence when she
>> acts up. You are giving her warnings, and SHE has the ultimate power
>> to decide whether or not she'll take that last step and get the
>> detention. One thing is for sure, if she does decide to go there,
>> there will indeed be a consequence. That never changes.
>>
>> 2.)You do not engage in any power play with her. Do not argue, do not
>> get mad. Stay in control of the situation, but do not let her push
>> your buttons. If she refuses a consequence (Like she will most likely
>> say something like "I'm not going to your stupid lunch detention" if
>> you have to assign her one) Do not argue with her. Keep it short "Now
>> there's a choice you can make. Life IS full of choices." Deliver
>> (pleasantly) and walk AWAY. Do not engage her. Do not worry about
>> what it looks like to the class.... if you are confident and are not
>> rattled, they will know that you are not letting her get away with
>> anything. YOU are in control of the situation-- and the consequence
>> that awaits sweet "jane" is something you will be keeping to yourself.
>>
>> 3.)You are able to form some sort of a bond with her.
>>
>> You will have to get your administrator on board---and explain what you
>> are doing, because there will need to be a consequence if she does not
>> show up for your detention. I used to have to go down to the cafeteria
>> and get "James" the first couple of times. The principal would be
>> there monitoring lunch which worked out great because he made sure
>> James came back with me. James soon got tired of that long awkward
>> walk back to the room with me, and started showing up on his own. This
>> was ideal (rather than having the principal assign an in school
>> suspension etc. for skipping) because it showed James that he was not
>> going to get out of my detention. It couldn't be 'replaced' with
>> something else. After a while, he just resolved himself to the fact
>> that I was relentless, and it wasn't worth the extra effort to resist.
>>
>> Of course the bummer is that you don't get to eat with the teachers,
>> but it really is a small price to pay to make your life less miserable
>> (and face it, it's close to miserable when you have a student like that
>> in class!)
>>
>> Good luck! Kids like this can really be frustrating, and you may not
>> see improvement for quite some time. There is no quick fix
>> unfortunately and there will be days you think you're making progress
>> only to back-slide again. Don't get discouraged---don't give up, just
>> do what you can do and go easy on yourself. There often is not
>> one "right answer" in handling these kinds of kids---they do keep us on
>> our toes don't they? I often think that God sends them our way to keep
>> things interesting, keep us humble, and challenge us to be better
>> teachers. JUST when I think I've got it all figured out, in
>> walks "Brandon" and teaches me that I still have a lot to learn. :)

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