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Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old
Posted by Schari on 10/10/08

Leah has a good point about it not being a good fit and
finding a new place.

Either they haven't been forthright with you about
troublesome behaviors he's been having, or he is suddenly
having some problems.

Either way, it's troublesome.

If the staff hasn't taken the time, or didn't have the
courtesy (or courage) to talk to you about problems, then
they aren't good at communicating with you, and you would
have to decide if you want to have adults in your child's
life that don't communicate well with you.

If he is suddenly having problems, it could be they were
waiting and monitoring for a while before they broached the
subject with you. But for them to suddenly put a behavior
report in his bag, only after you called, sounds like they
are trying to cover their backside. Which would show a
problem of being trustworthy.

Had they not given you the report, you could have met with
them, found out if there are problems or changes in the
classroom, and you could have looked for a solution together.

Try to remember any comments you have gotten from teachers,
good or bad, and document it on paper along with the
approximate date. Take it to your meeting and let them know
your unhappiness over seeing a report like that when what
teachers have said to you is (documentation.)

If you are just recently seeing the behavior, after a year,
and that's the only behavior you are seeing, there could be
an explanation for it. There could be a new child that is
perhaps abused and is treating the dollies like that in the
home center.

If he has seemed happy there, if he has bonded and cennected
with a teacher, if it has seemed a good and safe environment
to you, you might go ahead and have the meeting. Sometimes
working through a problem is better than moving a child who
has established a good connection with an adult care giver.

BTW, I appreciate parents like you that want to work with the
staff on issues and that reinforce acceptable behavior to
their children.

Let us know how it goes.

On 10/09/08, 3rd Grade teacher wrote:
> I have a 3 year old (will be 4 next month) who has been in
> childcare for a year. Prior to that I stayed home with
> him. I have noticed some odd behavior of him recently
> (hitting his leg saying he's spanking himself and he's
> a "bad boy") so I called to talk with his teacher about
> it. She told me that she did want to talk with me about
> some things so we agree to meet next week. I go to pick
> him up today and have a sheet in his cubby. It's
> a "Behavior Report." On one side it has "I Need Help
> Remembering" and the other "Good Things I Did Today."
> Both sides have 11 items. Well, this 'report' has 10 of
> the 11 things checked on the "I Need Help Remembering" and
> TWO on the good side. She's even filled in the Other
> section and wrote "I need to keep my clothes on my body."
>
> I'm SO confused! His teacher has only mentioned a couple
> of the things and the last ones she has checked are things
> my THIRD graders have a hard time doing
> (listening/following directions, using appropriate voice,
> being nice, etc.). Several of the others I could see him
> doing (throwing toys for example) but she's NEVER
> mentioned him biting someone or spitting on them - until
> this "report." I know my child isn't perfect and when
> they do say he has an issue I do talk with him about what
> is expected - even remind him every day as I'm dropping
> him off.
>
> So, I need suggestions on how to handle this. The
> director signed it so I'm assuming she's witnessed this
> behavior as well. I need to know how to talk to them
> because right now I'm really upset with THEM for never
> telling me most of the things we all of a sudden have
> issues with.


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Posts on this thread, including this one


• Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/09/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by Leah .
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/11/08, by Kristi.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/12/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/12/08, by Kristi.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/14/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/15/08, by Leah .
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/16/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/16/08, by Kristi.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/16/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update , 10/17/08, by Leah .
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/17/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/17/08, by Stellaluna.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/21/08, by trs.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/24/08, by mimbrewer.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/24/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/24/08, by grandma.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/26/08, by Schari.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/27/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/28/08, by Leah .
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/28/08, by Schari.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/28/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/29/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 11/20/08, by cathy--this is not DAP.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 11/24/08, by Caroline.