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Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old
Posted by Schari on 10/10/08

Oh, another BTW, biting and spitting are 2 issues I definitely
speak with parents about, right away. Biting is dangerous and
spitting is unsanitary. Both are severe enough that I would
take immediate steps to correct them, and that would include
informing the parent.

On 10/10/08, Schari wrote:
> Leah has a good point about it not being a good fit and
> finding a new place.
>
> Either they haven't been forthright with you about
> troublesome behaviors he's been having, or he is suddenly
> having some problems.
>
> Either way, it's troublesome.
>
> If the staff hasn't taken the time, or didn't have the
> courtesy (or courage) to talk to you about problems, then
> they aren't good at communicating with you, and you would
> have to decide if you want to have adults in your child's
> life that don't communicate well with you.
>
> If he is suddenly having problems, it could be they were
> waiting and monitoring for a while before they broached the
> subject with you. But for them to suddenly put a behavior
> report in his bag, only after you called, sounds like they
> are trying to cover their backside. Which would show a
> problem of being trustworthy.
>
> Had they not given you the report, you could have met with
> them, found out if there are problems or changes in the
> classroom, and you could have looked for a solution together.
>
> Try to remember any comments you have gotten from teachers,
> good or bad, and document it on paper along with the
> approximate date. Take it to your meeting and let them know
> your unhappiness over seeing a report like that when what
> teachers have said to you is (documentation.)
>
> If you are just recently seeing the behavior, after a year,
> and that's the only behavior you are seeing, there could be
> an explanation for it. There could be a new child that is
> perhaps abused and is treating the dollies like that in the
> home center.
>
> If he has seemed happy there, if he has bonded and cennected
> with a teacher, if it has seemed a good and safe environment
> to you, you might go ahead and have the meeting. Sometimes
> working through a problem is better than moving a child who
> has established a good connection with an adult care giver.
>
> BTW, I appreciate parents like you that want to work with the
> staff on issues and that reinforce acceptable behavior to
> their children.
>
> Let us know how it goes.
>
> On 10/09/08, 3rd Grade teacher wrote:
>> I have a 3 year old (will be 4 next month) who has been in
>> childcare for a year. Prior to that I stayed home with
>> him. I have noticed some odd behavior of him recently
>> (hitting his leg saying he's spanking himself and he's
>> a "bad boy") so I called to talk with his teacher about
>> it. She told me that she did want to talk with me about
>> some things so we agree to meet next week. I go to pick
>> him up today and have a sheet in his cubby. It's
>> a "Behavior Report." On one side it has "I Need Help
>> Remembering" and the other "Good Things I Did Today."
>> Both sides have 11 items. Well, this 'report' has 10 of
>> the 11 things checked on the "I Need Help Remembering" and
>> TWO on the good side. She's even filled in the Other
>> section and wrote "I need to keep my clothes on my body."
>>
>> I'm SO confused! His teacher has only mentioned a couple
>> of the things and the last ones she has checked are things
>> my THIRD graders have a hard time doing
>> (listening/following directions, using appropriate voice,
>> being nice, etc.). Several of the others I could see him
>> doing (throwing toys for example) but she's NEVER
>> mentioned him biting someone or spitting on them - until
>> this "report." I know my child isn't perfect and when
>> they do say he has an issue I do talk with him about what
>> is expected - even remind him every day as I'm dropping
>> him off.
>>
>> So, I need suggestions on how to handle this. The
>> director signed it so I'm assuming she's witnessed this
>> behavior as well. I need to know how to talk to them
>> because right now I'm really upset with THEM for never
>> telling me most of the things we all of a sudden have
>> issues with.


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Posts on this thread, including this one


• Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/09/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by Leah .
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/11/08, by Kristi.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/12/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/12/08, by Kristi.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/14/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/15/08, by Leah .
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/16/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/16/08, by Kristi.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/16/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update , 10/17/08, by Leah .
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/17/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/17/08, by Stellaluna.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/21/08, by trs.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/24/08, by mimbrewer.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/24/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/24/08, by grandma.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/26/08, by Schari.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/27/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/28/08, by Leah .
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/28/08, by Schari.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/28/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/29/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 11/20/08, by cathy--this is not DAP.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 11/24/08, by Caroline.