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Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old
Posted by 3rd Grade teacher on 10/10/08

On 10/10/08, Schari wrote:
> Oh, another BTW, biting and spitting are 2 issues I definitely
> speak with parents about, right away. Biting is dangerous and
> spitting is unsanitary. Both are severe enough that I would
> take immediate steps to correct them, and that would include
> informing the parent.
>
>
> On 10/10/08, Schari wrote:
>> Leah has a good point about it not being a good fit and
>> finding a new place.
>>
>> Either they haven't been forthright with you about
>> troublesome behaviors he's been having, or he is suddenly
>> having some problems.
>>
>> Either way, it's troublesome.
>>
>> If the staff hasn't taken the time, or didn't have the
>> courtesy (or courage) to talk to you about problems, then
>> they aren't good at communicating with you, and you would
>> have to decide if you want to have adults in your child's
>> life that don't communicate well with you.
>>
>> If he is suddenly having problems, it could be they were
>> waiting and monitoring for a while before they broached the
>> subject with you. But for them to suddenly put a behavior
>> report in his bag, only after you called, sounds like they
>> are trying to cover their backside. Which would show a
>> problem of being trustworthy.
>>
>> Had they not given you the report, you could have met with
>> them, found out if there are problems or changes in the
>> classroom, and you could have looked for a solution together.
>>
>> Try to remember any comments you have gotten from teachers,
>> good or bad, and document it on paper along with the
>> approximate date. Take it to your meeting and let them know
>> your unhappiness over seeing a report like that when what
>> teachers have said to you is (documentation.)
>>
>> If you are just recently seeing the behavior, after a year,
>> and that's the only behavior you are seeing, there could be
>> an explanation for it. There could be a new child that is
>> perhaps abused and is treating the dollies like that in the
>> home center.
>>
>> If he has seemed happy there, if he has bonded and cennected
>> with a teacher, if it has seemed a good and safe environment
>> to you, you might go ahead and have the meeting. Sometimes
>> working through a problem is better than moving a child who
>> has established a good connection with an adult care giver.
>>
>> BTW, I appreciate parents like you that want to work with the
>> staff on issues and that reinforce acceptable behavior to
>> their children.
>>
>> Let us know how it goes.

First of all, thank you so much for the quick response! This has
really bothered me!

I called the center today to speak with the director and she was
already gone for the day. So I speak with the assitant and voice
my concerns: 1) we've only been told of two issues (kissing his
friends and not cleaning up after himself) and now all of a sudden
have 10 to content with - only one of which we've been told of and
2) the delay in getting the "Behavior Form" to us. Two days to
wait is too long to discuss w/ a 3 year old. When we were talking
to him about it he was thinking of things that happened that day.
Anyway, I asked if she would go in and watch him to see how he
behaved and let me know. (She called later to say he was fine
except once when he threw a toy up against the wall. Which we
don't accept so we did talk to him about that).

As I pick him up this afternoon his teacher is leaving. I start
talking to her about the form and she goes on and on about how it
was a bad day and that is why everything was checked. Well, if he
were THAT bad, I would expect a phone call so we can address the
behavior right then. And as an educator myself, I look for
patterns in behavior and try to address it myself before I engage
the parents; I don't send notes home letting them know of every
little thing they did wrong. But, when I asked about the mark
beside, "Teeth are not for eating people. Teeth are for eating
food." she told me that he had been going up to his friends
blowing raspberries on their arms and cheeks. Is that now
considered "eating" people?

She wants to put him on a "behavior plan" to monitor his
behavior. This sounds so negative...Am I over reacting to this?

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Posts on this thread, including this one


• Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/09/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by Leah .
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/10/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/11/08, by Kristi.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/12/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 10/12/08, by Kristi.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/14/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/15/08, by Leah .
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/16/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/16/08, by Kristi.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/16/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update , 10/17/08, by Leah .
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/17/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/17/08, by Stellaluna.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/21/08, by trs.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old - Update, 10/24/08, by mimbrewer.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/24/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/24/08, by grandma.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/26/08, by Schari.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/27/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/28/08, by Leah .
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/28/08, by Schari.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/28/08, by 3rd Grade teacher.
• Re: I'm livid!!!, 10/29/08, by Schari.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 11/20/08, by cathy--this is not DAP.
• Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old, 11/24/08, by Caroline.