Re: Question...regarding my 3 yr old

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On 11/20/08, cathy--this is not DAP wrote:
>
>
>
> i have not read all of the posts but what are they doing as
> far as behavior is NOT DAP>>>>>>i would have a REAL problem
> with the way they are handling things and would not leave
> my child there... good luck....find a NAEYC center....
>
>
> On 10/09/08, 3rd Grade teacher wrote:
>> I have a 3 year old (will be 4 next month) who has been in
>> childcare for a year. Prior to that I stayed home with
>> him. I have noticed some odd behavior of him recently
>> (hitting his leg saying he's spanking himself and he's
>> a "bad boy") so I called to talk with his teacher about
>> it. She told me that she did want to talk with me about
>> some things so we agree to meet next week. I go to pick
>> him up today and have a sheet in his cubby. It's
>> a "Behavior Report." On one side it has "I Need Help
>> Remembering" and the other "Good Things I Did Today."
>> Both sides have 11 items. Well, this 'report' has 10 of
>> the 11 things checked on the "I Need Help Remembering" and
>> TWO on the good side. She's even filled in the Other
>> section and wrote "I need to keep my clothes on my body."
>>
>> I'm SO confused! His teacher has only mentioned a couple
>> of the things and the last ones she has checked are things
>> my THIRD graders have a hard time doing
>> (listening/following directions, using appropriate voice,
>> being nice, etc.). Several of the others I could see him
>> doing (throwing toys for example) but she's NEVER
>> mentioned him biting someone or spitting on them - until
>> this "report." I know my child isn't perfect and when
>> they do say he has an issue I do talk with him about what
>> is expected - even remind him every day as I'm dropping
>> him off.
>>
>> So, I need suggestions on how to handle this. The
>> director signed it so I'm assuming she's witnessed this
>> behavior as well. I need to know how to talk to them
>> because right now I'm really upset with THEM for never
>> telling me most of the things we all of a sudden have
>> issues with.

I'm sorry you are having such a problem with your son's center.
I too agree that the way they are handling the situation is
inappropriate. However, you yourself stated that you had been
informed of some of his behavior issues from his daily sheets -
did you address those issues then? I find that if you work with
the teacher from the beginning - the outcome will be positive.
Your child will realize that you have the same expectations as
the teacher - throwing toys may not seem bad to you especially
at this age - but I had a child in my class receive stitches
very near her eye when a block was thrown by an angry child.
From my experience moving him to another center will not change
those behaviors, positive reinforcement will. I think you need
to have another meeting with the teacher, not to give an
ultimatum but to brainstorm and share ideas on how best to help
your son. If you find that you can't determine a behavior plan
than yes I would find another place you are both comfortable
with and please keep an open line of communication at all times.

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