Schools are interesting places. Many places have a pecking order - it's a
common thing for people to seem to need to put themselves in a kind of order.
Schools are no exception and the more insecure students are, the more they
seem to need a pecking order. Live and let live isn't really a part of our society -
why would schools be different?
This kid got out of line - he took a risk by putting on the skirt and it worked.
Other kids liked it and he got a lot of attention for it. That attention annoyed
the cool girl who used to getting the attention. She spoke her mind because
she's cool and can be unafraid and she needed to put the order back in order.
How to deal with it? Well, I have to say these kids use the 'F' word - all the time
when we're not around. To them, the F word is like heck or darn. The slacker
kid was attacked - it's not surprising to me that the F word slipped out in those
circumstances. No way would I have written a referral on him.
And not on her but just because - does that work in your school? Does your
referral person whoever that is counsel with these kids? Me I work with this
stuff myself. Of course you may have an excellent referral person but I still
wouldn't have sent the F word kid for one. Let someone report me for not doing
so - I don't know who would - but let them. I can defend myself - it would have
been the right thing to do.
Nobody believes anymore there's enough good stuff to go around for everybody
- everybody believes they have to compete with each other for everything. Kids
are not yet secure in their place in society or in school so they have to be mean
to each other to establish turf cause they believe there's not enough turf to go
around.
If referrals really worked, wouldn't your kids be less and less mean or wouldn't
you have fewer and fewer kids in referral? Just wondering how well that system
works.
> she then started in about him having pimples
> all over his face - in his frustration with her and the
> situation, he used the F-word. After class was done, I
> wrote a referral to the office for both of them, and now
> it is in the principal's hands. This type of behavior is
> what makes me want to give up teaching. As a kid who was
> verbally abused by my peers during junior high, I can
> understand the pain, humiliation, and frustration that the
> slacker boy felt, but because he used profanity, I had to
> write the referral. Can someone out there help me to
> understand why students treat each other this way? I know
> it is not a reflection on me as a teacher to have this
> happen in my classroom - it happens all day, every day,
> all over our school - the kids are just plain MEAN.
> Please share any insights you may have to help me
> understand and know how to better deal with this.
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