1) We have a culture of entitlement. Kids think because they
exist they should get whatever they want and that life should be
one happy exciting experience after another. Unfortunately,
that has been the life of many suburban kids. When they get up
high enough in school where they have to take a class they don't
like, do more work than they think is fair or is boring, and so
on they rebel by complaining.
How do we solve this? Sticking to our guns and making them do it
anyway. Someone here said you coach them if they are doubting
their own abilties. If they are just complaining because they
do not see the relevance, give them relevance. The relevance
may be as simple as this is a hoop you must jump through the get
your high school diploma. You do not have to like it. You do
have to do it. That is a life lesson. There are plenty of
things we have to do that we don't like to do but do it anyway.
It is a reality check time. Kids do not get this. They are
under the false impression that adults only do what they want to
do. Had this conversation with an inner city kid a few years
ago. Was eye opening for me that this good, high school student
had no clue that life is full of unpleasant or undesirable and
BORING tasks. No one had taught her that. It was an a-ha
moment for her.
2) We all bellyache about a lot. You want your room to be more
positive? Don't bellyache yourself. If you don't like a
child's bevavior, instead of complaining, talk to others to get
ideas of how to foster change. And so on. If you need to be
negative (hey sometimes life just stinks and you got to get the
bad out) try to get something positive from getting out the
negative. Actions speak louder than words. Your students will
see a change in your demeanor, and it will change the atmosphere
of the classroom. When a student complains, ask them what are
you going to do about it? or How is this (your complaining)
helping you? Put the ball back in their court.
That being said we are all human. We all like to vent. Having
a catchy phrase as was suggested by another teacher is a great
idea. It lets the kids actively participate in keeping the room
from the gloom and doom syndrome.
Also, as was suggested by others, when the kids do have a
legitmate gripe, take them seriously. I think when you are not
happy and feeling put upon and no one listens to you, you get
sad, frustrated and therefore are more inclined to complain.
Ultimately, I think you can't wave a magic wand and make it all
better. Our kids are constantly exposed to false ideas of how
happy everybodies' lives are if you are glamorous, famous, have
enormous amounts of money. Getting new clothes, electronics and
so on does feel good. It is exciting. Being able to spend
money is a rush. But in the end it is not the core that will
make you happy. Most kids have not lived long enough or
experienced enough to get that. It is an uphill battle as this
constant disillusionment from our culture fosters our kids' idea
of entitlement and therefore their complaints about too much
work, too boring, why do I have to do this.... I remember being
like this as a kid but I did not have every movie, rock star TV
programs....around me spewing fake garbage about how fun and
titlilatingly exciting my life should be 24/7.
Do what you can, and in the end you can in the end only control
yourself.
Lisa P
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