> Our 5th graders are using very sexual words and mimicking
> some sexual actions. Of course the consequence is going
> straight to the principal (legally this has to be our first
> recourse). You'd think this would eliminate some of the
> words and behaviors, but kids come right back from the
> principal and start saying lewd things about their body parts.

You delema is this. They should feel ashamed and the don't.
Instead, they continue and it gets worse. Sticks and carrots
will not work. You need to appeal to conscience and create a
sense of shame for the actions. Don't use punishment or strong
negative emotion. That won't work.

Remember that the use of poor language is a way to receive
respect from piers. Kids are like parrots and mimic what their
parents and mentors are saying. Impressionable children hear
adults swear and it's always in an attention getting tone of
voice. They mimic these cuss words to see if they can create
the same atmosphere and get the same kind of imagined respect.

If you understand this, then go to the student and explain this
to him in front of their parents. Use the same words I use.
You already know where the example is coming from and when you
lead by example, you may change the heart of both the student
and parent. If you give them the reason for the behavior then
they will avoid revealing poor character in your presence.
Shame will kick in when they recall that you know their heart.

Also say something like this:

"Gaining respect should be accomplished through hard work and
self-control and not self-destructive behaviors that are based
on poor and offensive choices. Do you really want to take a
poor approach to gain the wrong kind of respect? If you are
going to succeed in life they need the correct tools. It's
going to be hard to keep a job later in life if the respect you
gain from others is done in a negative way." and so on.

I have always found that kids avoid disrespectful behavior
around a teacher that tells them how it is. There is a certain
feeling of shame when a student knows that the teacher thinks
poorly of the behavior and is willing to tell the student about
it logically. If you use an emotional tone with the student
and simply scream at the problem, the problem will get worse.
Assigning detentions and ISS is fuel on the fire. Appeal to
their sense of guilt for poor actions and give them the honest
skinny on why they are behaving the way they are and it will
stop. Kids are much smarter than we give the credit. If you
take this calm and assertive approach in your classroom in all
situations, the kids will respect you and avoid what you dislike.

Steve

Classroom Management that Works!

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