Re: Kerry, could use a little advice

Kerry in BC

Posted on 9/16/10

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Hi C,

My first thought is that each of us has control over only one
person... ourselves. My second thought is to remember
something I once read that I've found to be true in my own
experience... Whatever I focus on (good or bad) will increase.
I have complete control over myself and over what I can
focus upon in my life.

In your shoes, I would keep those two thoughts in mind as I
made my own choices. As a teacher working with other
people's students, I am only in control of my own actions and
I can choose to focus on the vision of what kind of teacher I
want to be myself when the students are in my music class.

You said yourself, that the DWS strategies you are
implementing are working. There's the positive thing to
focus upon. If it's working, continue what you are doing.

The Hierarchy discussions you are having with these grade five
students sound right on... they're exactly the type of thing
I would say to students and find effective myself. You're
teaching your students about self-discipline. Don't give up.
Keep presenting them with information about internal
motivation, explaining their choices (C or D.)

For many students this information will be new.
Self-discipline doesn't develop overnight... it's a process
that takes years. How many adults do we know that are 100%
self-disciplined themselves? It's something that most people
continue to work on all their lives. Your teaching, in grade
five, is just a start in a long journey... but you're doing
an important job... you're starting the process. So don't
give up. Your teaching will pay off. More and more you will
find kids starting to take responsibility by choice... and
feeling good inside about doing that.

As for another teacher coming into your class and doing the
opposite of what you yourself would do within your music
room, I would think about what my own options could be in
such a situation.

You've already mentioned you've talked to the teacher (and
tried to explain your approach/goals perhaps. ) This person
doesn't agree and likely seems to believe the opposite of
what you do. Don't waste your energy trying to explain any
further at this point.

So is there another route you could take? A route that isn't
confrontational so that instead of focusing on what you DON'T
want, you're focused on what you DO want and what you CAN do
about the situation? Would it be possible for you to deliver
the students back to their regular classroom at the
appropriate time, rather than having the teacher pick them
up? That way you have control over your interactions with the
students and leave her to interact with them in her classroom
in the way that she sees fit.

Don't worry... students will be listening to you and listening
to her. Grade 5 students are old enough to understand what
you are saying and in my experience they will see sense in
what you are saying as long as you keep your explanations
about the behavior respectful, but honest and straightforward.

Just some thoughts!

As for me, I've gone through some culture shock! (moving from
a middle class neighbourhood with children who come to school
well cared for and well supported) to a high-needs, 70% First
Nations population, with absolutely lovely children but ones
who don't always get the care, food or love that everyone
should have as they start out in life.) Most are
developmentally delayed by at least one year. Many have
never held crayons or used scissors etc. I did ask to go to
this school and so I'm happy to be there but it is very
different than my other 35 years of teaching! But I think
I'm going to love it!

My first week was rather rough though! As a Kg. teacher, much
of my first week was spent with the returning Kg students.
My own new K students were enrolling, having interviews etc.
The students I had didn't know me and didn't know any of my
procedures.... yet I was in their classroom from last year
(and they were expecting to see their previous teacher!) Not
only that but the room was very different from when they left
it... new exciting things on the shelves, a much different
set up of tables and centres. They just wanted to touch
everything! They weren't interested to listening to the
stranger in the room!

Since I rely on relationships and procedures to discipline,
this was a difficult situation.... no time to build
relationships and no time to teach any procedures. Just
sudden immersion! (I have great respect for substitute
teachers in schools like this!)

But now things are turning very positive! I have my own class
and I am teaching procedures (over and over again) and using
DWS. I'm seeing that it is working extremely well, even in
just four days... the kids are responding. I haven't
introduced the Hierarchy yet and won't for a number of weeks.
That part isn't new for me. I've always relied on the
beginning parts of the DWS Teaching Model to get things
rolling on a positive note. I want them to be at Level C
before I introduce the Hierarchy so that the majority of our
Hierarchy discussions can be positive. I get them to Level C
by having them learn very structured procedures for using the
room and for how we operate in the room.

To my delight, I've found that I can hold the same behavior
expectations for these disadvantaged kids that I held at my
previous schools. They are living up to my expectations and
are already making progress toward becoming students who want
to learn. I just teach and reteach each procedure for every
part of our day and expect them to follow what I have taught.
If they don't, we review, practice again, slowly adding new
procedures for new activities every day.

I'm focused on teaching each procedure 8 times as Harry Wong
suggests. In reality, it means that I'll actually need to
teach each procedure more like 15-20 times because the
absentee rate is much higher at this school than I'm used to.
When one child is away and misses procedures, is important to
review them when the child returns so that they can be
successful too. Luckily my province has just adopted a
full-day, developmentally appropriate curriculum for
Kindergarten. This means that I can take the time I need to
make sure my procedures are well established at this time of
the year. I know it will pay off as time goes on in terms of
better academic learning in the long run.

We are moving calmly forward! I really can't believe the
difference in them just since Monday. I've found that I can
carry on using DWS regardless of the type of school I am in.
It works! I'm elated and really looking forward to the coming
year. Thanks for asking!

Remember, keep your focus on what you DO want!

Best wishes! Kerry

On 9/16/10, c wrote:
> Hi Kerry, It's been a real pleasure seeing you on two
> different forums. You are a wonderful teacher and I respect
> your opinion a lot. I teach music to each class in my
> school for 55 minutes a week. As you know, I have been
> trying to implement the Discipline Without Stress
> strategies in my room, and over all, I have seen very
> positive results. Most good teachers use those strategies
> anyway. This morning I had a fifth grade class that is very
> immature. They tattle, throw tantrums, walk out of the room
> when they feel like it. When I talk to these kids about
> their behaviors, they always say that it is because I got
> them in trouble. I don't understand where this is coming
> from. I might give a gentle reminder, such as - "Arrion,
> please make sure your chair has four on the floor. I am
> concerned about your safety." I'll say it in a quiet, calm
> voice. I have no reason to yell, I am not mad. However it
> is greeted with an outrageous response of, "I didn't do
> nothing! Why you always picking on me? Man!" then he storms
> out the door. This isn't because of some prior thing that
> has him already upset, this is his response every time. We
> have talked privately about his reactions and how I can
> help him, but it never transfers to the classroom. Anyway,
> that wasn't the point of my post. There are several kids
> like that in this room. I have spent at least half of every
> class talking about the hierarchy of behaviors and what
> they mean in my room. As I was lining them up at the end of
> class today, the classroom teacher walked in. I was talking
> about personal responsibility to the class as she walked
> in. She heard the whole speil, about how I am not in charge
> of the kids behavior, but they are. I can be a guide, but
> ultimately the only one that can act is you, the student.
> When you do something that makes a teacher have to respond,
> you are giving up that power to the teacher, forcing them
> to be in charge of your behavior. Immediately, the teacher
> started to dole out punishments for students that weren't
> facing me or standing in line correctly. I almost did a
> face palm right there. I feel like I am trying really hard
> to help the kids understand only to have everything I am
> doing undone in a second by the classroom teacher. I have
> talked to this teacher about DWS and she looked at me like
> I am an idiot. PLEASE! Any advice or sympathy would be much
> appreciated! BTW, how is your year going? I know you are in
> a new situation, and you are kind of in the same boat as I
> am. I hope things are going well for you this year. -c

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