Karen: Maybe you can get something from how we do birthdays
and be able to use it to resolve your dilemma. We encourage
parents to attend their child's birthday celebration. They
are a big part of this special day and often the school
birthday "party" is the only one their child will be having.
I schedule our celebrations at the beginning of class so that
the parent/s, grandparents, even younger siblings can come at
arrival to not require them to come later. A few weeks before
the birth date, I send home a detailed letter telling the
parent the guidelines on what snack to provide, napkins and
to make a poster of the child's "biography". We do not have
candy or sweets at our school for any event(the parents who
send their children here know that from the beginning and
often that is a plus as to why they chose our school)We
suggest low messy snacks like mini muffins (without frosting
of course!), bar cookies, fresh fruit. I tell them that the
birthday napkins can dress up any snack and the children are
happy with that.
On the day of the celebration, the parent sends in the snack
so that we can be sure it is "servable" if that were a word.
We have tons of international families and even though we
think our letter is easy to understand, some parents
interpret the meaning differently. We have trays available to
place the snack and the napkins. We eat together sitting on
the line.
We do our ceremony by telling the children how birthdays are
an exciting time, bu that they can also be a quiet and
peaceful time. The children then move back off the line. The
birthday child then takes a page at a time of a large
claendar and we say the name of the month as he places it
around the circle. I say "12 months in one year" The birthday
child goes and gets the small globe while I get the special
candle. I light the candle in the center of the circle and
say, "The candle represents the sun and since Zoe was born
the earth has gone around the sun "X" times". As the child
carries the globe around the circle the amount of times he is
old, the parent tells his "story" with the picture board.
When the story is done, the child returns the globe, and I
had him the candle snuffer with handle. He puts out the flame
and the children spontaneously clap for him. Then he picks up
each page of the calendar and the children return to their
space on the line.
At that time, the birthday child passes out the napkins to
each child, "Do you want one?" "Yes, please thank you!". Then
he passes out the snack. When everyone has been served we
sing a special birthday song (I found that some children are
uncomfortable with the traditional song) and then everyone
starts to eat. Also it is a tradition at our school for a
book to be donated in the child's name to our class library.
As each child finishes up, including sweeping up any crumbs,
then he gets up and goes and chooses his work to start the
day.
As you can see, this is a fairly peaceful way to celebrate,
the parents get involved(they can stay for the class if
interested), the children get a "fun" snack, and the whole
day is not messed up. We used to do these later or in the
middle of class, but when the children know it is someone's
birthday they get too wound up waiting.
I agree with the post that anything that fits in the mini
muffin cup would be a great guideline for amount. I would
just stress the no candy and go to the point of saying, that
any candy will be removed and sent home or even will
substitute with another snack if the excessive sweets show
up. Then DO it. If one parent gets away with it, the school
grapevine will know it's ok. When children's health is
involved, preventing cupcakes from being a snack should be
easily resolved if enforced.
I also would suggest having this situation addressed on your
next agenda for a staff meeting.
maureen