Wow. If one comment from a student is making you reconsider
your entire career - that - in a nutshell - is rather a
problem. I'm not saying that what the student said is valid -
I'd have no way of knowing that - but even if it is, why
would that make you flee the profession??

I'd admire that you want to be good at your job but one
person says you're not and you head for the hills? This is
not 'taking criticism harshly'. This is... kind of a nutty
overreaction, no? (I'm so sorry to say that).

I'm going to have to believe you didn't mean that for it
would be strange to throw over a job you've trained for on
the basis of one person's criticism. It's not like a
principal said to you, "I've watched teachers come and go for
30 years and you're the worst I've seen."

That should give one some pause. But that's not what was said
to you.

I'll say this to you and I have taught for 25 years and seen
many teachers come and go. No teacher is the right teacher
for every student. And no teacher is the right teacher for
every school.

But I still can't say on the basis of one student's opinion
whether you're at the wrong school. Clearly this kid is in
the wrong class and that's a shame. Until all our schools do
a better job of matching students and teachers, we'll all
miss the mark of some students though we may try to cast a
wide net.

Not every student thrives on discussion but some do and this
student should likely be in a discussion-centered class. But
she'll survive in yours. I admire her forthrightness and her
courage. Her 'defiance' was likely her discomfort - it isn't
easy to say the things she said. Unless your school is a very
open one - and I've never seen that in a school- it is an act
of defiance for any student to be so honest with a teacher.

I'd say - go back to class and tell your class that a
student was so courageous as to point out to you room for
improvement. Encourage them to do the same but tell them now
why you don't do group discussion. It's FINE not to do it if
it doesn't work for you. Better not to do it than do it and
have it be a mess. (but many kids do like it...)

But also tell them you're a caring teacher and you take Great
Pride in your work and the last thing you'd want to be doing
is giving busy work and that you're thinking that piece of
criticism over very carefully. Ask them to speak with you
privately (I suggest that because I think you'd be very
uncomfortable with a group discussion about that - me, I open
it to class discussion.)

Your recognition that you assign more work than other
teachers... again, more work is not the right answer for
every student. Neither is less work but me, I prefer to err
on the side of less, not more. I could write a book on that.
Unless your classes are perfectly grouped by ability, I find
the weaker students get swamped by 'more work'. I
encourage 'challenge work' from those who are able to take it
on and I'd certainly encouraged it from the student who said
she's learning nothing. I'd arrange time to meet with such a
student on a weekly basis and we'd from our own literature
circle and others would be welcome to come. It's time
consuming but it builds bridges of acclaim from students and
parents alike. Once a week for 45 min and we discuss
literature.

And tell them all up front and out in the open what's in your
heart - that you'd NEVER want to 'play favorites' and if
you've given that impression, please know that's not how I
want to seem or is it how I feel. You all deserve to be the
favorites of any teacher.

Don't run from this. Use it. Don't cry, reflect on it and
then speak your piece to them, invite them to speak theirs
with you at a comfortable time and then make peace with it
for now always being ready to grow, reflect and grow again.

Warm wishes.

>

>
> . When I asked her about this
> activity, she said, "That was JUST one chapter!!" and rolled
> her eyes. In terms of favorites, I don't think I play
> favorites.since I've known her for years.
>
> Anyway, I've been kept up at night with this, I haven't been
> eating, and I've been freaking out, in a nutshell. Has this
> ever happened to anyone else? Should I reconsider my
> profession? Help!?

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