On 11/01/09, questioning myself wrote:
> I am reposting this from NB board because I realized this
> might be a better forum:
>
> This is going to be a bit lengthy...
> Let me preface this by saying I am in my fifth year of
> teaching ELA in a suburban high school. Generally, although
> I question if I can do it for 30 years, I love my job, do
> well at it, and this year received my "pick" of what I want
> to teach because the school views me as a good teacher. I
> view myself as someone who works hard toward becoming a good
> teacher (I think it is always a work in progress, so I
> wouldn't necessarily say I am already there yet), gives a
> lot toward school outside of the school day (grading and
> prep work), cares as lot about my students as individuals,
> goes in most weekends, etc.
>
> Friday after class one of my students stopped to talk to me.
> She is a student I don't know as well as others because
> she's quieter (though not shy), although I have made many
> attempts at connecting with her over the first two months.
> She told me, in a nutshell, that she views my class as busy
> work, that she's not learning anything, and that I never ask
> her how various works of literature that we study make her
> feel. She also said our pace is way too fast. Then she
> said I play favorites with students I know from having
> previously taught them (being a smaller school, I taught
> about half of the students in her class at one point or
> another for another class).
>
> I was horrified, but thanked her for her opinion, asked her
> for ideas about how she thought it might work better for
> her, reiterated to her how much I appreciated and valued
> that she came to me with her concerns, etc. She wasn't
> disrespectful, but she was rather defiant and emphatic about
> her opinions. She also finished up the conversation by
> saying how much better all of her other English teachers had
> been.
>
> Needless to say, this weekend has been one of
> soul-searching, where I have been trying to ask myself tough
> questions: do I give busy work (except when I have a
> substitute)? do I show more attention to kids I know
> previously? Etc., etc. I cried quite a bit, too, but I
> take criticism a bit harshly so that's to be expected.
>
> I truly think I prepare my students well. I receive e-mails
> several times a year from former students now in
> college/military/etc. that let me know how much my class
> meant to them. I do assign more work than most teachers,
> and this includes more written work, more group work, etc.
> In other words, it's not just a class based on discussion.
> I find discussion harder to assess/organize so everyone's an
> equal partner, etc., so if I am doing a discussion, often I
> formulate it into small groups Socratic style with close
> readings involved. For instance, for our previous novel we
> did this with each group splitting up chapters to look for
> nuances in the language. When I asked her about this
> activity, she said, "That was JUST one chapter!!" and rolled
> her eyes. In terms of favorites, I don't think I play
> favorites. Oftentimes I will watch more closely kids I
> think are falling through the cracks, either due to family,
> social, or academic trouble. But I do this by asking them
> questions in the hallway, or talking to them during the
> school day but not during my class, if this makes sense.
> The only example I can think of that she may have
> misinterpreted was when I gave a hypothetical example of
> Jane Doe, a student in my class from last year. I basically
> said if Jane didn't do this and this and this (in terms of
> major class projects), she probably wouldn't mathematically
> be able to pass for the year. I used Jane as an example
> because there was no way she would ever not do this and this
> and this, and also because I knew she wouldn't be bothered
> by me using her as an example since I've known her for
years.
>
> Anyway, I've been kept up at night with this, I haven't been
> eating, and I've been freaking out, in a nutshell. Has this
> ever happened to anyone else? Should I reconsider my
> profession? Help!?

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