Never go in to teaching thinking you will make the world a better place - I trust
you were exaggerating there. Actually, what I think you're saying is this -
you've found out that teaching isn't standing in front of a room of rapt people
where you get to pontificate on a topic of interest and they respond with
enlightened gratitude. And you're right about that- teaching is mostly crowd
control but you don't get to use a bullhorn or bullwhip.
A lot will depend on what school you're in - some are better than others. And
you will get better at crowd control - most people do - but it can be Very Hard
in the beginning even as a teacher. Judge nothing from what you do as a sub,
I'd say, though I did. Though subbing was hard and some days were Disasters, I
still liked it.
Do you? Despite the Hard Work and Frustration that it is, do you get any kick at
all out of subbing? That would be a good sign if you do.
I'd also ask this - do you like kids? You've said you like science but what good
teaching takes is liking kids. If you like kids and have no real passion other
than kids, you'd could still be a Great Teacher. Liking kids is far more important
than liking your subject matter. Few people who really don't like kids make
good teachers.
What's worrying me the most is your statement about 'the importance of science
education' - that could be a disaster. Don't come to teaching because you
believe in 'the importance of science education'. We can't do all that much
education in any school - if education were really what schools were supposed
to be about, we would never have designed schools as we have. We'd have
small classrooms and small school communities. But we don't. Despite all the
hoopla and the standardized tests and the tough talk about 'accountability', our
society does not really care about or really understand what education is. And
the stuff about 'profound truths' - far too preachy though I'm sorry to be so
blunt. You're cruising for a idealistic bruising.
And if you know your science, then you know that most of what goes into the
human brain, goes out the other side fairly quickly especially with kids' brains.
And you'd know that getting them to be excited about science class yet doesn't
mean they will retain much of it.
Are you really 'losing jobs'? If you want to find yourself, I'd never tell anyone to
look for themself in teaching. Good teaching truly is a calling - it calls to you-
it's not a last ditch defense. But there are plenty of not good teachers out there
making a living sort of and getting through each day barely.
But most of all, this seems to be all about you and your needs and your
'profound truth' and turning to teaching to meet those needs - when it's really
about them and their needs if you're going to go home every night having had a
good day.
> Not long after I lost my last job, I had one of the very
> few epiphanies I've ever had; I should become certified to
> teach high school science.> enroll in the MA in education program here in
Louisiana and
> start teaching this fall under a practitioners license. I felt like I was doing
what
> I was *supposed* to be doing, almost like I had a duty to
> be in a classroom sharing – to the best of my
> as-yet-uncertain ability - what I think consider to be a
> very profound truth; that the world around us is knowable
> through careful observation and reason.
>
>
>. I need to apply to the master's program
> soon, though, and I don't need this crisis compounding my
> natural tendency to procrastinate.
>
> I'm not sure what my question is. Maybe someone can suggest
> one.
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