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Re: Failing Student Question
Posted by Djuna on 5/10/08

    Tough question. I find it difficult to believe that he's stopped doing all the work
    in his classess and that there ISN'T some larger issue (including drugs,
    depression, sex, bullying...). Are you absolutely sure? Have you investigated?

    It could be that he's reacting to your involvement in the school by
    doing nothing, but it's ridiculous if that's the case...he'd be allowing you to
    dictate his choices simply by supporting your own (to volunteer at the
    school). And that's precsely what he's rebelling against ("You are not the boss
    of me.") It might help if you could help him see it that way.

    Have you spoken to his counselor? Has he?

    My son is a sophomore too. It's frustrating enough that he's repeating one class
    (and getting a C, but it's passing), failing one (hello summer school), and not
    taking any of the opportunities his teachers are offering to help him out. We
    have changed a lot of our vocabulary when we talk to him about school, mostly
    because we don't want to tear our hair out, and because we have investigated
    and diagnosed the issue: he's lazy as f***.

    Now we pepper our conversation with "choices" and "consequences". "I see
    you're choosing not to do your homework right now. When are you going to
    choose to do it?" We're not letting him blame his teachers or friends or anyone
    but himself. His choices.

    No idea if it's working yet -- but it's a whole mindset change, not just
    punishment.

    Still. It's hard. My heart goes out to you.

     
     

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