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	Re: Sam I am...you crack me up!!! NFM Posted by OMG I LOVE YOU SAM I AM!!!!!!!! on 2/04/08 On 9/14/07, kindredNY wrote: > On 8/17/07, Sam I Am wrote: >> >> Every year, English teachers from across the country can >> submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors >> found in high school essays: >> >> >> These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of >> teachers >> across the country. Here are last year's winners..... >> >> >> 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its >> two sides >> gently compressed by a Thigh Master. >> >> >> 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking >> alliances like >> underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. >> >> >> 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from >> experience, like a >> guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse >> without one of >> those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the > country >> speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a >> solar eclipse >> without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. >> >> >> 4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and > he was >> room-temperature Canadian beef. >> >> >> 5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound > a >> dog makes >> just before it throws up. >> >> >> 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. >> >> >> 7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. >> >> >> 8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had >> disintegrated >> because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like >> a surcharge >> at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. >> >> >> 9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly >> the way a >> bowling ball wouldn't. >> >> >> 10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a >> Hefty bag >> filled with vegetable soup. >> >> >> 11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene >> had an >> eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in >> another city and >> Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm. instead of 7:30. >> >> >> 12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a >> sneeze. >> >> >> 13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like >> maggots when you >> fry them in hot grease. >> >> >> 14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-! crossed lovers >> raced across >> the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, >> one having >> left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other >> from Topeka >> at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. >> >> >> 15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with >> picket fences >> that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. >> >> >> 16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two >> hummingbirds who >> had also never met. >> >> >> 17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and >> she was the >> East River. >> >> >> 18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a > steel >> trap, only >> one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. >> >> >> 19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. >> >> >> 20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But >> unlike Phil, >> this plan just might work. >> >> >> 21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get >> from not >> eating for a while. >> >> >> 22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame >> duck, either, >> but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping >> on a land >> mine or something. >> >> >> 23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended > one >> slender >> leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. >> Posts on this thread, including this one Analogies & Metaphors, 8/17/07, by Sam I Am. Re: Sam I am...you crack me up!!! NFM, 9/14/07, by kindredNY. Re: Sam I am...you crack me up!!! NFM, 2/04/08, by OMG I LOVE YOU SAM I AM!!!!!!!!.

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