Middle School Teachers Chatboard

next post

skip topic

Print | Share | Report Post

Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?
Posted by OP with a few more (longish)responses...to vet teacher et al on 10/09/08

Yes. As a matter of fact, with me, writing her up worked; with others,
(that's what EVERYBODY did), it did not. Why? I have no idea; that's
why I'm here.
What I did today: I called her Dad--he's from Jamaica, I think...and I
don't know whether he did not understand what I was saying re his
daughter's behavior/slipping grades...or he did not care...he yessed me
to death...he did say she "probably did not bring her progress report
home" which indicated the problems we're having with her...I suggested
he schedule a meeting with guidance so she can get back on track before
she goes into high school...
What the girl said when I asked her why we're back at the beginning?
Nothing at all. She would not even LOOK me in the eye.
I'm fairly certain she has very little impulse control. One of the
teachers met her mom a few yrs ago--mom has little impulse control as
well--she kept touching the teacher's hair and face while they were
talking, for example.
Also what I did today: I did write her up. I included all of the
problematic behavior on the referral. She came to class late, as she
was at the principal's office; she was very subdued during class
(pretty much the MO last yr; I'd write her up, she'd come to class; I'd
circulate during lessons, help her, compliment on her what she did
right yadda yadda--little by little she came around...) and yes, I am
frustrated with her monumental landslide. My one consolation: I won't
have her anymore after this yr (we almost never retain students, even
if they fail ALL subjects). My one fear: I'm thinking about
transferring to high school--I'm thinking the kids'll take school even
a tiny bit more seriously--and there she'll be, again, sitting in my
classroom, yelling across the room to her classmates...slamming
books...and etc....(as an aside: I taught her 6 yr older brother way
back when in his 7th grade..he was respectful, quiet, and though not
great at the subject matter, a really hard worker..I was SHOCKED to
find out that just recently he was 'sent away' to an institutional
school/jail for burglary and assault...). Oh did I mention...with 2
older brothers and a younger sister (who she often babysits), the mom
is pregnant again. So I understand the student has issues. But she
must understand, by now, that her actions have consequences, and often
negative ones, especially in school.

On 10/09/08, vet teacher wrote:
> On 10/09/08, to all who responded...thanks...and one more thing
> about her wrote:
>> I had this student last yr--in grade 7.
>
> This is as interesting as the fact that you didn't mention it
> before. So what did you do last year that worked? Something worked
> - what was it? What was your approach last year? Did you write her
> up and was it that that had a positive effect?
>
> Most important - you were in fact fairly successful in getting her
> to modify her behavior last year. When you've asked her in your one
> on ones - "Chesley, why are we back to the beginning?" - what did
> she say? If this were me and I were seeking advice on it my
> question would be - how do you recall a student with whom you once
> had a working relationship? And the answer is - well, that depends
> on what altered the relationship between you. How do you restore
> that working relationship?
>
> I understand that to have achieved a working relationship with a
> student and then to lose it is indeed frustrating. She's regressed
> but so has your relationship with her or - you'd be calling her back
> by now and you're not - she's back to where she was or near to?
>
> And the other teachers last year - what worked for them if anything
> or was it only you that she moved forward for?
>
> And yes, good point for the poster who said your school has a
> problem - if the announcement implied it was 'now or never' for the
> cheerleading tryouts, that's wrong and to have interrupted a class
> with such a distracting announcement is very wrong.
>
> You can write the student up but asking flighty 8th grade girls with
> a chip on their shoulder to sit quietly still through louspeaker
> cheerleading tryout announcements is like asking birds not to
> startle when they hear a loud noise.
>
> (I now teach grade 8).
>> I, and other teachers, had similiar problems with her. Last
>> yr, I finally got here to where she'd come into class, sit, do
>> her work, raise her hand, and etc. She's regressed. It is
>> frustrating. As is the all-call announcement. To the poster
>> who said 'coaches come in etc etc'...no, the cheerleader coach
>> is the guidance counselor--who is here all the time--and
>> another teacher--who is here all the time. I don't know why
>> they can't call these kids for a few minutes after--or before
>> school--or during homeroom. The disruptions, to me, interrupt
>> with the teaching environment that we are supposed to be
>> focused on--aka state testing etc. (as an aside...i don't
>> think the guidance counselor ever sat one day in a teaching
>> classroom--she went straight through to counseling, got her
>> degree, and here she is, with absolutely no sensitivity as to
>> classroom mechanics and goings-on.
>>
>>
>>
>> On 10/09/08, vet English teacher wrote:
>>> I'm assuming you want what you do to make a positive
>>> difference with her. Is that what you want or at this point
>>> are you so frustrated you simply want her punished?
>>> People shouldn't give advice without knowing your goal - what
>>> do you want to achieve? What you do depends on what you want
>>> to achieve.
>>>
>>> In my experience, kids such as this one get worse - not better
>>> - after they're written up. They get more difficult to manage
>>> not easier to manage. It's human nature and like the
>>> certainty we have about the sun rising tomorrow morning, I'm
>>> that certain this kid will get worse if written up. Unless of
>>> course you have a wizard with kids Principal but I've found
>>> most Principals not to be all that good with kids.
>>>
>>> If her writing is always tiny, that's a red flag about her
>>> underlying skills and a sure sign of a learning difference. It
>>> it's not, she still sounds like she's got issues to me -
>>> processing issues, call them whatever we will - not every kid
>>> has a personality or a profile that's well suited to school
>>> and in the better world, we'd have a different kind of school
>>> for such kids. Schools with more activity and less sitting,
>>> schools with smaller class sizes etc. etc.
>>>
>>> But we don't and what do we do until then? Well, you told
>>> when she couldn't go to cheerleading trials - did you tell her
>>> when she could go? Don't assume she can figure that on her
>>> own - she doesn't sound like a strong thinker. "Kelly, of
>>> course you can't go now - we're taking a test but you can go
>>> after class or during lunch or after school. This isn't your
>>> last chance by any means. I hope you make the team."
>>>
>>> Modern people including modern kids argue - it's a societal
>>> trait, it's now endemic in our culture. If you're asking how
>>> to get people to stop arguing, turn back the clock of time is
>>> my only suggestion. They didn't the 50s 'the Silent Society'
>>> for nothing.
>>>
>>> In these situations- use your wits - not your seeming
>>> authority because we have no real power over other peoples'
>>> emotions. We cannot command people to feel differently than
>>> they do and it's their emotions that fuse the situation.Kids
>>> have emotional reactions - be savvy when they do and defuse
>>> the situation. It's also endemic in our culture now to 'be
>>> cool'. So coolly ask "what's up with this? What are you all
>>> riled up about? Everything's under control. There's nothing
>>> to get jumpy about." Middle school kids hear that and
>>> especially her peers who will then turn to her with looks on
>>> their faces like "Teacher's right. You're not carryin'
>>> yourself cool."
>>>
>>> Find out if other teachers in the building - even one- has a
>>> working relationship with this student. Then find out how they
>>> ever accomplished it.... build bridges, not walls.
>>>
>>> My humble opinion - good luck with her.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>


RESPOND TO THIS POST START A NEW THREAD RETURN TO CHATBOARD




Posts on this thread, including this one


• should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/08/08, by Aggravated.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/08/08, by jh.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/08/08, by sb.
• Re: Hmm..., 10/08/08, by Mshope.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/08/08, by Rebecca.
• Re: Your school should be written up, 10/08/08, by i think.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/09/08, by vet English teacher.
• Re: should I write a discipline...? Agree with Rebecca, 10/09/08, by ~connie (who loves Love and Logic).
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/09/08, by Ima Teacher.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/09/08, by to all who responded...thanks...and one more thing about her.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/09/08, by 11 years as teacher.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/09/08, by 11 years as a teacher.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/09/08, by vet teacher.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/09/08, by OP with a few more (longish)responses...to vet teacher et al.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/09/08, by vet teacher.
• Re: What love and logic book?, 10/09/08, by bsk.
• Re: What love and logic book?, 10/09/08, by Rebecca.
• Re: Your school should be written up- Thank You!, 10/10/08, by Terri.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/10/08, by Terri.
• Re: Your school should be written up- Thank You!, 10/10/08, by Carolyn.
• Re: What love and logic book? Great book, 10/12/08, by Mshope.
• Re: should I write a discipline on this student? would you?, 10/13/08, by Jawnte Everette.