Re: Phrase for syllabus – help please

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Phrase for syllabus - help please

by Jennifer

Jul 13, 2016

I don't post here much but would to know if someone can answer my question. I'm working on my syllabus for August (I teach high school ESL & beginning Spanish). I would like to include the following quote (from Judith Ortiz Cofer's poem "Confessions of a Non-Native Speaker) in both English and Spanish, but I'm finding it difficult to translate from English to Spanish. The quote and my attempt at a Spanish translation are below. Any suggestions on the translation?

Each word I make mine Is a pearl, a diamond, A ruby, I will someday String into a necklace And wear everywhere As if I had been born rich In language.* -Judith Ortiz Cofer, "Confessions of a Non-Native Speaker"

Translation: Cada palabra que hago mía Es una perla, un diamante, Un rubí, que enhebraré Algún día en un collar Para llevárselo por todas partes Como si hubiera yo nacido rica En lenguaje.* -Judith Ortriz Cofer, "Confesiones de una Hablante No Nativa"

*The or...See More

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kelly On 7/13/16, Jennifer wrote: > I don't post here much but would to know if someone can > answer my question. I'm working on my syllabus for August > (I teach high school ESL & beginning Spanish). I would like > to include the following quote (from Judith Ortiz Cofer's > poem "Confessions of a Non-Native Speaker) in both Engli...See More

Jul 13, 2016

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Jennifer On 7/13/16, kelly wrote: > On 7/13/16, Jennifer wrote: >> I don't post here much but would to know if someone can >> answer my question. I'm working on my syllabus for > August >> (I teach high school ESL & beginning Spanish). I would like >> to include the following quote (from Judith Ortiz Cofer's >> poem &...See More

Jul 14, 2016

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El Morro Definitely change "llevárselo" to "llevarlo". The "se" implies the 3rd person. Here the author is implying the 1st person. "llevarlo" fits the bill. Also, remove the comma after "rubí". Spanish does not make use of commas as much as English does. (Do not use the Oxford Comma in Spanish.) On 7/13/1...See More

Jul 16, 2016

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Jennifer Thanks to you both! Llevárselo was just a typo. I don't know how to write accent marks on this site (does anyone? please tell if you do!) so I used cut-and-paste, and cut-and-pasted the wrong word. It's definitely llevármelo, even in the original. :-)

Now for llevármelo vs. llevarlo. I know this changes the meaning slightly. I felt that...See MoreThanks to you both! Llevárselo was just a typo. I don't know how to write accent marks on this site (does anyone? please tell if you do!) so I used cut-and-paste, and cut-and-pasted the wrong word. It's definitely llevármelo, even in the original. :-)

Now for llevármelo vs. llevarlo. I know this changes the meaning slightly. I felt that the word llevármelo better fits the meaning of the full poem, which implies that the words (and the necklace made from them) were taken from others and carried off. I liked the sound of llevármelo better in that context, but I hadn't given much thought to the fact that this nuance is actually missing from the English version as I've presented it, since I am only using a portion of the poem and have not used the portion that explains the "carrying off".

So I am reconsidering this now because if my students compare the Spanish and English versions I don't want to confuse them. The poet in me prefers llevármelo (and is convinced that if the full poem were to be translated, this is how it would be written) but in terms of students who compare the two translations I don't want to cause confusion about "carry" versus "wear". Thanks for the feedback!

On 7/16/16, El Morro wrote: > Definitely change "llevárselo" to "llevarlo". The "se" > implies the 3rd person. Here the author is implying the 1st > person. "llevarlo" fits the bill. Also, remove the comma > after "rubí". Spanish does not make use of commas as much as > English does. (Do not use the Oxford Comma in Spanish.) > On 7/13/16, kelly wrote: >> On 7/13/16, Jennifer wrote: >>> I don't post here much but would to know if someone can >>> answer my question. I'm working on my syllabus for >> August >>> (I teach high school ESL & beginning Spanish). I would > like >>> to include the following quote (from Judith Ortiz Cofer's >>> poem "Confessions of a Non-Native Speaker) in both >> English >>> and Spanish, but I'm finding it difficult to translate > from >>> English to Spanish. The quote and my attempt at a Spanish >>> translation are below. Any suggestions on the translation? >>> >>> Each word I make mine >>> Is a pearl, a diamond, >>> A ruby, I will someday >>> String into a necklace >>> And wear everywhere >>> As if I had been born rich >>> In language.* >>> -Judith Ortiz Cofer, "Confessions of a Non-Native Speaker" >>> >>> Translation: >>> Cada palabra que hago mía >>> Es una perla, un diamante, >>> Un rubí, que enhebraré >>> Algún día en un collar >>> Para llevárselo por todas partes >>> Como si hubiera yo nacido rica >>> En lenguaje.* >>> -Judith Ortriz Cofer, "Confesiones de una Hablante No >>> Nativa" >>> >>> *The original poem says "...rich in English," but to make >>> it equally relevant to both ESL and Spanish I have changed >>> it here to "...rich in language". >> >> Hi Jennifer, I really like your translation. The only > change >> that I would make is to change "llevarselo" to "llevarmelo" >> because you, the first person narrator, will be wearing it. >> >> Buena suerte!

Jul 17, 2016

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