Re: On faculty holiday parties

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On faculty holiday parties

by Ze Povinho

Dec 19, 2014

Here I am, before school starts, at a holiday faculty/staff party-we subs were invited to join.

In these parties, you realize full force that you are the eternal outsider. I see that I have absolutely zero in common with these folks. Just listening to the small talk is enough to send me into a state of depression-how can some be so vacuous...add to this that slow holiday music and it adds more to this state.

The reason I went to that party was that they served Vegas style buffet and one could seat wherever, and I hadn't had breakfast. The food was decent but the social perils are simply too much. I never forget that, even in these "relaxed" events, one is still under military dictatorship style surveillance. I just kept a very low profile and just pretended that I was in one of those Vegas style buffets, where I was surrounded by total strangers who owe nothing to me and to whom I owe nothing. It really was like being in a restaurant. Nobody talked to me on...See More

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I pity you. You need another job! nfm On 12/19/14, Ze Povinho wrote: > Here I am, before school starts, at a holiday faculty/staff > party-we subs were invited to join. > > In these parties, you realize full force that you are the > eternal outsider. I see that I have absolutely zero in > common with these folks. Just listening to the small talk is > enough to send...See More

Dec 19, 2014

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Right on Ze Povinho!

I have been in education as a teacher AND as a sub for 34 years! I have seen "Christmas Parties" play out in this manner for all of those years! First I was a regular classroom teacher until retirement and then subbed until I could no longer stand it.

I have seen the "aloofness" in the little clique groups of ...See More

Dec 19, 2014

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Octo787 Since you had missed breakfast, I am glad that you made an exception to your own practices and attended the holiday party, even if you had to ignore the people there. There is no sense in being hungry (not to mention that it's not healthy), and doing something like this every once in awhile shouldn't be construed as the end of the world. Good for y...See MoreSince you had missed breakfast, I am glad that you made an exception to your own practices and attended the holiday party, even if you had to ignore the people there. There is no sense in being hungry (not to mention that it's not healthy), and doing something like this every once in awhile shouldn't be construed as the end of the world. Good for you, Ze.

On 12/19/14, Ze Povinho wrote: > Here I am, before school starts, at a holiday faculty/staff > party-we subs were invited to join. > > In these parties, you realize full force that you are the > eternal outsider. I see that I have absolutely zero in > common with these folks. Just listening to the small talk is > enough to send me into a state of depression-how can > some be so vacuous...add to this that slow holiday music > and it adds more to this state. > > The reason I went to that party was that they served > Vegas style buffet and one could seat wherever, and I > hadn't had breakfast. The food was decent but the social > perils are simply too much. I never forget that, even in > these "relaxed" events, one is still under military > dictatorship style surveillance. I just kept a very low profile > and just pretended that I was in one of those Vegas style > buffets, where I was surrounded by total strangers who > owe nothing to me and to whom I owe nothing. It really > was like being in a restaurant. Nobody talked to me once > but it was reciprocal. I don't feel bad at all that I had no > interaction. Pretending I was in a restaurant really helped > me tune out the immensely vacuous talk and the sugary > holiday music among other things. Dealing with them is > always hazardous and I deal with them as if they were > secret police...because anyone can report you for > anything, and staff parties are no exception, especially > when the Great Leader and his or her lieutenants are > watching. > > I also observed how these admins, who usually report > subs for anything and who treat one as if one were an > inconvenience, hug and joke with their fellow admins and > staff. One face for those without power, the cheery one > for their equals and superior. > > Nothing new. > > Ze

Dec 19, 2014

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FL Teacher I can totally relate to what both of you are saying. I'm currently a teacher, been teaching at the same school for 7 years, and I might as well be invisible. Usually I'm okay with it, but I hate school breakfasts, the PTO lunches, and that type of event where I have to worry about where I'll sit and whom I'll talk with. I don't particularly want to...See MoreI can totally relate to what both of you are saying. I'm currently a teacher, been teaching at the same school for 7 years, and I might as well be invisible. Usually I'm okay with it, but I hate school breakfasts, the PTO lunches, and that type of event where I have to worry about where I'll sit and whom I'll talk with. I don't particularly want to socialize with them either, but it's awkward. I never had this problem at previous schools. I'm shy and introverted by nature, but not unfriendly. I'm not cliquey or "one of the gang". It's very stressful. You're brave, Ze, because I would have taken the easy route and sat in my classroom, hungry.

On 12/19/14, Right on Ze Povinho! wrote: > > > I have been in education as a teacher AND as a sub for 34 > years! I have seen "Christmas Parties" play out in this > manner for all of those years! First I was a regular > classroom teacher until retirement and then subbed until I > could no longer stand it. > > > > I have seen the "aloofness" in the little clique groups of > teachers since day one of my teaching experience. I have > been maligned, ignored, snubbed and rendered "invisible" in > every aspect of my teaching career! > > > > It is great that others can say these things do not exist in > their experience. That is fine and GOOD FOR YOU! But I know > what Ze Povinho is talking about because I have SEEN with my > own eyes and experienced many of the same inequities during > my tenure in education. > > > > Great post Ze! > > > > > > > > > > On 12/19/14, Ze Povinho wrote: > >> Here I am, before school starts, at a holiday faculty/staff > >> party-we subs were invited to join. > >> > >> In these parties, you realize full force that you are the > >> eternal outsider. I see that I have absolutely zero in > >> common with these folks. Just listening to the small talk > is > >> enough to send me into a state of depression-how can > >> some be so vacuous...add to this that slow holiday music > >> and it adds more to this state. > >> > >> The reason I went to that party was that they served > >> Vegas style buffet and one could seat wherever, and I > >> hadn't had breakfast. The food was decent but the social > >> perils are simply too much. I never forget that, even in > >> these "relaxed" events, one is still under military > >> dictatorship style surveillance. I just kept a very low > profile > >> and just pretended that I was in one of those Vegas style > >> buffets, where I was surrounded by total strangers who > >> owe nothing to me and to whom I owe nothing. It really > >> was like being in a restaurant. Nobody talked to me once > >> but it was reciprocal. I don't feel bad at all that I had > no > >> interaction. Pretending I was in a restaurant really helped > >> me tune out the immensely vacuous talk and the sugary > >> holiday music among other things. Dealing with them is > >> always hazardous and I deal with them as if they were > >> secret police...because anyone can report you for > >> anything, and staff parties are no exception, especially > >> when the Great Leader and his or her lieutenants are > >> watching. > >> > >> I also observed how these admins, who usually report > >> subs for anything and who treat one as if one were an > >> inconvenience, hug and joke with their fellow admins and > >> staff. One face for those without power, the cheery one > >> for their equals and superior. > >> > >> Nothing new. > >> > >> Ze >

Dec 19, 2014

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BJ I'm not the most sociable person either but would look at it as a networking opportunity.

On 12/19/14, FL Teacher wrote: > I can totally relate to what both of you are saying. I'm > currently a teacher, been teaching at the same school for 7 > years, and I might as well be invisible. Usually I'm okay with > it, but I hate scho...See MoreI'm not the most sociable person either but would look at it as a networking opportunity.

On 12/19/14, FL Teacher wrote: > I can totally relate to what both of you are saying. I'm > currently a teacher, been teaching at the same school for 7 > years, and I might as well be invisible. Usually I'm okay with > it, but I hate school breakfasts, the PTO lunches, and that > type of event where I have to worry about where I'll sit and > whom I'll talk with. I don't particularly want to socialize with > them either, but it's awkward. I never had this problem at > previous schools. I'm shy and introverted by nature, but not > unfriendly. I'm not cliquey or "one of the gang". It's very > stressful. You're brave, Ze, because I would have taken the > easy route and sat in my classroom, hungry. > > On 12/19/14, Right on Ze Povinho! wrote: >> >> >> I have been in education as a teacher AND as a sub for 34 >> years! I have seen "Christmas Parties" play out in this >> manner for all of those years! First I was a regular >> classroom teacher until retirement and then subbed until I >> could no longer stand it. >> >> >> >> I have seen the "aloofness" in the little clique groups of >> teachers since day one of my teaching experience. I have >> been maligned, ignored, snubbed and rendered "invisible" > in >> every aspect of my teaching career! >> >> >> >> It is great that others can say these things do not exist in >> their experience. That is fine and GOOD FOR YOU! But I > know >> what Ze Povinho is talking about because I have SEEN > with my >> own eyes and experienced many of the same inequities > during >> my tenure in education. >> >> >> >> Great post Ze! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> On 12/19/14, Ze Povinho wrote: >> >>> Here I am, before school starts, at a holiday faculty/staff >> >>> party-we subs were invited to join. >> >>> >> >>> In these parties, you realize full force that you are the >> >>> eternal outsider. I see that I have absolutely zero in >> >>> common with these folks. Just listening to the small talk >> is >> >>> enough to send me into a state of depression-how can >> >>> some be so vacuous...add to this that slow holiday music >> >>> and it adds more to this state. >> >>> >> >>> The reason I went to that party was that they served >> >>> Vegas style buffet and one could seat wherever, and I >> >>> hadn't had breakfast. The food was decent but the social >> >>> perils are simply too much. I never forget that, even in >> >>> these "relaxed" events, one is still under military >> >>> dictatorship style surveillance. I just kept a very low >> profile >> >>> and just pretended that I was in one of those Vegas style >> >>> buffets, where I was surrounded by total strangers who >> >>> owe nothing to me and to whom I owe nothing. It really >> >>> was like being in a restaurant. Nobody talked to me once >> >>> but it was reciprocal. I don't feel bad at all that I had >> no >> >>> interaction. Pretending I was in a restaurant really helped >> >>> me tune out the immensely vacuous talk and the sugary >> >>> holiday music among other things. Dealing with them is >> >>> always hazardous and I deal with them as if they were >> >>> secret police...because anyone can report you for >> >>> anything, and staff parties are no exception, especially >> >>> when the Great Leader and his or her lieutenants are >> >>> watching. >> >>> >> >>> I also observed how these admins, who usually report >> >>> subs for anything and who treat one as if one were an >> >>> inconvenience, hug and joke with their fellow admins and >> >>> staff. One face for those without power, the cheery one >> >>> for their equals and superior. >> >>> >> >>> Nothing new. >> >>> >> >>> Ze >>

Dec 19, 2014

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