I have to say that I agree with the comments here. I just moved here and I
am half Asian. My husband is white. We've both lived up and down both coasts
of the U.S. and have discussed the attitudes of some of the Caucasian
mainlanders here who feel resentment toward the local people. My husband,
who lived here before he ever met me, said that he thinks that a lot of
these people have never been the minority before and so are offended by not
being immediately accepted. Having endured racial slurs and other social
indignities because of my race, I feel that it was a humbling experience and
really grew empathy in me for others. I agree that you reap what you sow. A
little humility and grace go a long way to making new friends. My husband
and I love it here and it's a novelty for me to be in the majority here :)
On 10/27/05, heather wrote:
> We visited Hawaii during the summer of 2005. My husband was sent for work
> and we, the family, tagged along. The local people were wonderful. The
> people that my husband worked with were very welcoming to him. They would
> let us know that places to visit and welcomed us to a luncheon before we
> left. Sometimes they teased about the "mainlanders", but we never felt
> unwelcome. They called us haole, but we did not take offense. While
> visiting, we attended a local church and we were warmly welcomed there too.
>
> I would love to return and my husband and I have discussed moving. The
> cost of housing and the distance from family would keep us from making a
> move. Also, the Island life can feel confining if you are used to wide
> open spaces. We stayed on Oahu and could cover the whole island in a day-
> with stops.
>
> In closing, we had a wonderful experience and I feel that "you get what
> you give". If you are warm and respectful with others, regardless of
> race, culture, it comes back to you.
>
> Heather
>
> On 10/24/05, Chris wrote:
>> On 8/04/05, Nancy wrote:
>>> On 7/20/05, aaron bowen wrote:
>>>> On 7/16/05, Rachel wrote:
>>>>> I have been reading this thread with interest. The racial thing
>>>>> gets complicated some times. My husband is an Special Ed
>> teacher in
>>>>> NY and we are thinking about relocating to Hawaii. He is also
>>>>> African American. Is that haole too? I am from Spain, and our
>> son
>>>>> is mixed.
>>>>>
>>>>> The comment about traumatized children needing therapy does
>> not
>>>>> make me very happy because I would not want to have my child
>>>>> traumatized that way. Here in New York we have experienced
>> racism
>>>>> and reverse racism, I have had Black bosses who were racist
>> towards
>>>>> me and those who weren't, same as White, so it tends to
>> balance
>>>>> out. We are comfortable with our lives and I don't think my child
>>>>> would be traumatized here.
>>>>>
>>>>> I don't want to discard Hawaii, we first have to visit and feel the
>>>>> Aloa and the ocean breeze and see how we fit in the area.:) Do
>> you
>>>>> have any comment about the African American or non American
>> White
>>>>> experience in Hawaii?
>>>>>
>>>>> Your comments will be greatly apreciated.
>>>>>
>>>>> Rachel
>>
>>
>> A couple of things, as a recent immigrant to Hawai`i, and as a
>> non-teacher (I teach at a local university), that might be useful for
>> newbies to the islands to bear in mind.
>>
>> 1) You are not in the United States. I don't mean the legal/political
>> thing. In cultural terms, its far easier if you think of Hawai`i as
>> another country (which it in fact was, and is) with its own language
>> (Pidgin) and its own culture. If (as a number of other people have
>> pointed out) you come correct and show respect for that you will
>> have a far easier time than if you do not.
>>
>> 2) Some local people are very turf conscious. Again, you are on
>> someone else's land so you should conduct yourself as if you were
>> a guest in someone else's house -which you are. If you do this, your
>> problems will be 1000&37; less.
>>
>> 3) Don't expect the same kind of treatment you would get on the
>> mainland. As an outsider you will have to prove yourself, and yes, put
>> up with abuse from some people. But if you do your best to blend in,
>> you will have an easier time of it.
>>
>> 4) There are some old wounds that go back a long way. I know it's
>> not "fair" to ask kids to shoulder the blame for things that they
>> personally didnt do, but if you grow up as a minority ANYWHERE you
>> know that this is part of the way the world works. It's a tough thing
> to
>> expose your kids to perhaps but some of us don't have a choice
>> about that, and I think in the long run, it gives you a sense of
>> empathy with what it feels like to be a minority, and that's a good
>> lesson, if a little tough at times.
>>
>> 5) Don't blame the whole community for the actions of a few. When
>> you first turn up, it's going to feel like no-one cares about you.
>> Remember, from a local perspective, mainlanders come and go like
>> the tide. They may not want to make the first move to greet you
>> because you might be gone in a few months. So you must make the
>> first move. Get to know people. Ask questions. Be interested. If
>> possible, get to know the local kids who will be at your kids school.
>> Get to know their families. If they know who you are, and they like
>> you, they will start watching out for you and yours.
>>
>> 6) As far as relations with African American folks is concerned, there
>> is generally a lot of good will towards black people, but there is also
>> some racism particularly from the newer East Asian immigrants.
>> Also, (see 5) local culture is not jump-up-and-down wag the tail
>> welcoming to the military, and the assumption is that black folks are
>> probably military. Again, if you get to know people locally, that will
>> disappear. I know a bunch of black people who are married into
>> local families, and they are much better situated than people who
>> stick to the military and ex military crowd. Again, if you don't go in
>> with the assumption that things are going to be like they are on the
>> mainland, then you will probably find a good way forward.
>>
>> 7) Learn how to understand pidgin. This may not be an issue if you
>> live in a pretty haolified area, but in Pearl Ridge, Leeward Side,
>> Kalihi or Makiki, this is a very good skill to have. Don't try to speak
> it
>> until you can clearly understand 75&37; of what people are saying
>> when they speak in pidgin.
>>
>> 8) Learn about the history of Hawaii. The real history, not the tourist
>> version. Learn about the Overthrow and why Hawaiians and local
>> people feel like they are a colony of the Mainland (which they are in
>> all practical terms). A couple of suggestions for books to read:
>> "Hawaii Looking Back" is a good starting place with lots of good
>> illustrations. Then read "To Steal a Kingdom" or, if you want
>> something a bit more academic "Colonizing Hawaii" by Sally Merry
>> or "Aloha Betrayed" by Noenoe Silva.
>>
>> 9) As far as warnings about Waianae go, again I think it depends a
>> little on exactly where you live. Some places are definitely rougher
>> than others, but I would also say that if you make friends with
>> people, they will definitely look out for you. Ask local people.
>>
>> The biggest problem with Waianae is transportation. It will take you
>> a good hour to get into Honolulu by car during OFF PEAK times.
>> During rush hour it will be much much longer. The bus can take
>> almost twice as long. Anywhere from Waianae through Ewa Beach
>> is going to be mad congestion. Too many cars, too many people,
>> not enough decent public transport.
>>
>> I think Hawai`i is a great place, not without very severe problems,
>> and not without a few narrow-minded ignorant people, but with
>> some very great people and some great lessons to teach anyone
>> who is willing to learn. Be humble, learn from others and you will do
>> just fine.
>>