I recently got out of an unhappy 10 year relationship with
a career I found, at best, unfulfilling and, at worst, an
onerous dead-end.
Not long after I lost my last job, I had one of the very
few epiphanies I've ever had; I should become certified to
teach high school science. I don't have any real science
background apart from a layman's keen interest. I wouldn't
call it a passion – but I'm just don't have one of those
deeply passionate personalities – but I do feel very
strongly about the importance of science education. I began
studying for the Praxis II content exam for science
immediately, and took the GRE Tuesday. My plan was to
enroll in the MA in education program here in Louisiana and
start teaching this fall under a practitioners license. I
found myself planning lessons and thinking of ways to
elucidate Newton's laws of motion to 9th graders. This was
the very first time in my life I felt like I was doing what
I was *supposed* to be doing, almost like I had a duty to
be in a classroom sharing – to the best of my
as-yet-uncertain ability - what I think consider to be a
very profound truth; that the world around us is knowable
through careful observation and reason.
But now I'm having major second thoughts. What's changed
between then and now is that I've actually substituted a
few times. I realize that being a teacher and being a sub
are very different games. But after actually standing in
front of a few classes, particularly a few ninth grade
science classes, it just seemed likely to me that if you
have a classroom of 20 kids, you might have 2 or three who
are actually interested and receptive to learning
something, around a dozen who might care enough to put in
the minimum to pass, and the rest who are actively trying
to disrupt whatever's going on.
Obviously I have a lot - probably more like everything - to
learn about being a teacher, but my initial optimism and
enthusiasm about making the world a better place has been
somewhat dampened. I need to apply to the master's program
soon, though, and I don't need this crisis compounding my
natural tendency to procrastinate.
I'm not sure what my question is. Maybe someone can suggest
one.
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