There is a disgusting practice cherished by some people and, often, teachers to allow their students talking behind a person's back about that person instead of facing him or her directly.
Let's look into that subject, using the basic common sense, whether that is normal and proper or not?
Does the sun shines its rays directly to you face or searches for some body to reflect it?
Yes, the sun shines directly and if that were not good, it would have not done so! So learn from the nature and do the same. Nature has adopted the best ways. Anything else is rejected by it.
Following that example, we can see that only people who are afraid of something practice speaking behind the back. Let's go further. What is prime and first and what is secondary: direct or reflecting qualities?
Obviously "reflecting" is secondary and inferior to the "direct."
So all those folks who are just afraid to be direct are secondary to those who are direct.
It is very customary in the USA, for some reason, to encourage this, inferior behavior. Too many people learn by everything they see around them not to speak truth, face their peers or co-workers but speaking to a teacher, manager, mama is encouraged.
Wake up people. You raise a generation of inferior, reflecting beings who don't know how to be direct.
Guess what dwells inside of these "gossipers?"
Instead of the generation of the "sun," you raise the generation of the "moon -" the reflections. Yet, keep in mind that the moon only reflects and is, still, nurtured by the sun. So go with the best -- not the secondary.
Those who gossip are not trying to protect the
object of their gossip or you as they, often, claim.
They simply have no guts, no courage to face
you and speak in your face, taking the consequences of that.
Gossipers are cowards as simple as that.
It is safer to their ego to talk behind your back.
You are not there to defend yourself, to contradict, or speak the truth.
They have the full power and arena to say anything they like, anyway that may fit their purpose and agenda. Cowards indeed.
This practice is bad and even dangerous.
Why? They can and do ruin people in the process.
A gossiper sweetly whispering to a teacher's or manager's ear can misquote one word, put a wrong intonation into the transmitted message and the whole outcome may be opposite of the reality or altered enough for the other party to get in trouble unjustly.
Well, Mr. and Mrs. gossipers and other, secondary, afraid to shine directly beings, you would all, one day, get into the situation when someone else would gossip about you behind your back and, would, also, misquote you, and you would get into the same situation you have caused the innocent person earlier.
You would feel what its like. Justice would prevail sooner or later.
Always confront the other person and do that in a direct and fair fashion. Only if you get the vibes that he or she doesn't appreciate that and goes too far in whatever has provoked that conversation, then, you can address that to a higher authority in the chain of command.
But start with being direct first, not reflecting and bending.
Learn to face people and situations and learn from the Sun which shines that way way and is that not what you prefer?