The Fire Breathing Dragon Finally Uses Mouthwash
Characters: Narrator, Fire-Breathing Dragon, Beautiful Princess, Handsome Prince, & Wise Old Man.
Narrator: (apologetically) Even before we begin this story I'm going to have to be honest with you. One of the characters is really, really GROSS! I mean really nasty. You see, that dragon over there has the world's worst breath!
Wise Old Men: Yeah, his breath is so bad that he has to live by himself in a dark cave.
Narrator: So let me begin to tell you a sad tale.
Fire-Breathing Dragon: Ever since I got my fire breathing license I've been trying to find me a damsel in distress.
Fire-Breathing Dragon: All I want to do is be like the other dragons. I want to roam the country side, capture young ladies, and burn down a couple of forest.
Fire-Breathing Dragon: You know, the usual dragon stuff.
Beautiful Princesses: Yeah, but he had a major problem that really prevented him from doing his job. HIS NASTY, STINKY, WAKE UP YOUR MAMA BREATH!
Wise Old Men: The girls are right. What is comes down to is that the dragon has some of the worst smelling putrid breath that anyone is this kingdom has ever seen!
Narrator: Yeah, if he would even get within 50 miles of the castle everyone would know it. The horses would pas out, trees would die, and all of the animal would put on gas masks.
Beautiful Princesses: Yeah, and you can't believe what it did to our gorgeous curly hair!
Handsome Prince: And to make matters worse, I have even been knocked out by HIS NASTY, STINKY, WAKE UP YOUR MAMA BREATH! Not cool.
Handsome Prince: Yeah, last week his breath made my armor rust within 20 seconds.
Fire-Breathing Dragon: Sorry.
Narrator: Well our dragon friend here couldn't find any work because of HIS NASTY, STINKY, WAKE UP YOUR MAMA BREATH!
Narrator: The dragon couldn't even scare off defenseless young maidens because he always knocked them out with his breath.
Fire-Breathing Dragon: Yeah, last week I practically killed Cinderella.
Handsome Prince: So this is our problem. The dragon can't do his job, so I can't do mine. We really need help.
Everyone: Oh, No! What will we do?
Wise Old Men: Well we have some old advice. But we are not telling it yet. We are old and we need our nap.
Fire-Breathing Dragon: Someone please help. I am unemployed! When I leave my cave people for miles put on the gas masks. Whoo with me. . .. . . (crying)
Beautiful Princesses: The dragon started to feel really depressed because of HIS NASTY, STINKY, WAKE UP YOUR MAMA BREATH.
Handsome Prince: He rarely ever came out of this cave.
Beautiful Princesses: Will somebody please help?
(The Wise Old Men Start Snoring)
(The Narrator picks up an imaginary bucket of water and pours it on the old men.)
Wise Old Men: Ahhhhhh! Jumping Grasshoppers, Momma Mia, TACO BELL!
Fire-Breathing Dragon: Please help me you old men.
Narrator: The old men told the dragon with HIS NASTY, STINKY, WAKE UP YOUR MAMA BREATH that the solution was simple.
Wise Old Men: You are to go to the WAL-MART can get mouthwash.
Beautiful Princesses: Mouthwash?
Handsome Prince: Mouthwash?
Fire-Breathing Dragon: Really, are you sure that mouthwash will help my HIS NASTY, STINKY, WAKE UP YOUR MAMA BREATH?
Wise Old Men: We are positive.
Narrator: The dragon then flew to the nearest WAL-MART and picked up some mouthwash.
Fire-Breathing Dragon: (make gargling mouthwash noises)
Fire-Breathing Dragon: Yeah! Now my breath is so freshy clean! Would you like to smell?
Handsome Prince: No Thanks! I trust you.
Wise Old Men: And that is how it ended. Instead of the dragon having HIS NASTY, STINKY, WAKE UP YOUR MAMA BREATH he had kissable fresh breath.
Beautiful Princess: Yeah, soon he was able to terrorize our kingdom again. Everyone again has jobs!
Everyone: Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray!