temper tantrums when time to work

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temper tantrums when time to work

by 1a

Aug 28, 2010

I have a student who seems to have a very low self esteem, and becomes frustrated when time to work. He does have deficits with several skills; yet is able to do more than he produces. After I explain an assignment and sit down to assess a student (which I need to have completed by a deadline),he begins pulling his hair, whining, and crying. The noise level becomes louder and louder until I explain to him that he needs to give it a try. I tell him to do his best and reduce the assignment. However, when I leave to continue my assessments, the tantrums begin all over again. Each one becomes more aggressive (kicking, hitting, destroying anything in his path of reach). He only puts forth any effort when I sit one on one with him, but it is unrealistic for me to do this for every assignment every day. He spent a lot of time in the office last year, thus, I believe he learned that tantrums get him out of the classroom and the work. This is only the first week with him and I am already having...See More

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vet counselor Is he graded on his work? Does your school award grades on report cards? In either case, his best work will earn him a lower grade, won't it? He has skill deficits - so from the get-go, his best work won't make him the best or anywhere near to the best student in the class. And I'd say - most kids in this situation know it. They know that their bes...See MoreIs he graded on his work? Does your school award grades on report cards? In either case, his best work will earn him a lower grade, won't it? He has skill deficits - so from the get-go, his best work won't make him the best or anywhere near to the best student in the class. And I'd say - most kids in this situation know it. They know that their best work is still going to be far from the best. Kids learn young their work is always compared to the others and they compare their work to the others.

Has anyone addressed this with him? I believe too he's capable of doing more than he does but to what avail? I'd also say likely he feels more confident when someone is by his side and if he has any attentional issues at all, he is going to be benefit from having someone by his side as he works - it would help him to stay focused.

Which of course is not possible for you to do - in the ideal world, this kid would benefit from a wrap-around aide. Is it possible for him to sit by your side while you assess another student? At least in this first part of the year until he settles in more? That's one thought.

Is a volunteer possible to do the same?

Or reduce the assignment from the beginning - it's not uncommon to modify work for students with skill deficits. Why wait until after the assignment has been given? He's learned that to get a reduced assignment he has to whine and cry. Does he have an IEP? It sounds as if he should but even without one, I'd modify his assignments before handing them out and quietly point that out to him.

And has anyone sat down with this child and spoken to him kindly but seriously about his skill deficits and how they are not his fault and how doing the modified assignments will help to bring his skills up? Kids don't naturally understand that we are all at different points on the line and we have a way in school of suggesting that kids with weak skills have not worked hard enough - though they are usualy born with those weak skills and learning differences.

I'd have a heart to heart with this child -has anyone done that? Some kids do need more of a teacher's time than the others. Is there a child who could take an interest in this child? Could he have a 'buddy' from among the students with strong skills?

Overall, I'd like to see my school and others use volunteers more but that's not always easily made to happen. I'd say try the heart to heart, don't grade his work whenever possible, modify his work before you give it out, not after he starts to cry and let him sit by you whenever possible in the beginning of the year while he gets his feet on the ground.

Sending him to the office will quiet your room but clearly has done nothing in the long run for this child. Let's remember that he's crying - he's not screaming resistance - he's crying and that's a sign of distress and frustration, not anger or resistance. Crying isn't a temper tantrum - temper is stamping feet, throwing chairs, yelling in anger. We need to be careful to recognize distress as distress.

"Charles, we've talked about this and your work has been changed to be just right for you and we both know you can do this. Once you start it, it won't feel hard and it won't take long. I want you to try for 5 minutes - see the clock? 5 minutes isn't long. If after 5 minutes you feel you absolutely can't do this, then I want you to come and calmly tell me why. Your crying tells me only that you're upset but it doesn't tell me anything more than that. When things feel hard, crying doesn't make them less hard - it only makes it more hard to get the hard thing done. Use words, not crying but for the next 5 minutes, it's working, not words and you might find that in 5 minutes, you're done."

Good luck. > I have a student who seems to have a very low self esteem, > and becomes frustrated when time to work. He does have > deficits with several skills; yet is able to do more than > he produces. After I explain an assignment and sit down to > assess a student (which I need to have completed by a > deadline),he begins pulling his hair, whining, and crying. > The noise level becomes louder and louder until I explain > to him that he needs to give it a try. I tell him to do his > best and reduce the assignment. However, when I leave to > continue my assessments, the tantrums begin all over again. > Each one becomes more aggressive (kicking, hitting, > destroying anything in his path of reach). He only puts > forth any effort when I sit one on one with him, but it is > unrealistic for me to do this for every assignment every > day. He spent a lot of time in the office last year, thus, > I believe he learned that tantrums get him out of the > classroom and the work. This is only the first week with > him and I am already having a conference with the mother > and am going to put him on a behavior plan. He responds > well to positive praise, but needs to be rewarded > consistently throughout the day. > > I am looking for any ideas to help this child. His behavior > is making it very difficult for me to teach, as I am > constantly redirecting inappropriate behavior and it is > taking away my time from the other students. Any > suggestions are welcomed. Thank you in advance.

Sep 8, 2010

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Frustration On 9/08/10, vet counselor wrote:

> > Sending him to the office will quiet your room but clearly > has done nothing in the long run for this child. Let's > remember that he's crying - he's not screaming resistance - > he's crying and that's a sign of distress and frustration, > not anger or resistance. Crying isn't a temp...See More

Sep 8, 2010

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