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March 2008
Vol 5 No 3
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Back Issues
Teachers.Net Gazette Vol.5 No.3
March 2008
Cover Story by LaVerne Hamlin
Show Me The Money!!!
If you can develop a lesson plan for your class, then you can write a grant. Here's how!


Harry & Rosemary Wong
Effective Teaching
Coaching is six times more effective than class-size reduction

Columns
»A System Is Superior To Talent Marv Marshall
»What Writing Isn’t Cheryl Sigmon
»The Busy Educator's Monthly Five Marjan Glavac
»Privacy in a Technological Age Rob Reilly
»10 Tips for Difficult Parents Barbara & Sue Gruber
»Problem-Based Learning Hal Portner
»Understanding Autism Leah Davies

Articles
»Spaceship Toilets
»March 2008 Writing Prompts
»Internet Assisted Interactive Classroom
»Our Civility Footprint
»First Grade Family Reading Night Meets Speed Dating
»Your Students Are Watching, Listening, and Learning
»Teachers Lounge - To Go or Not to Go?
»Retirement Guide for Teachers
»Daily Lessons: Humility

Features
»Chatboard Poll: So What About Homework?
»Teachers.Net Craft Favorite: Arrow to the Sun
»Featured Lessons: March 2008
»Video Bytes: Merit Pay; Tai Chi; Asperger's and More
»Today Is... Daily Commemoration for March 2008
»Live on Teachers.Net: March 2008
»The Lighter Side of Teaching
»Editor's Pick: Picturing America Program
»Apple Seeds: Inspiring Quotes for Teachers
»What Do You Want In A Co-Op Teacher?
»Newsdesk: Events & Opportunities for Teachers

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Cover Story by LaVerne Hamlin

Effective Teaching by Harry & Rosemary Wong

Contributors this month: Dr. Marvin Marshall; Cheryl Sigmon; Barbara & Sue Gruber; Marjan Glavac; Dr. Rob Reilly; Barb S. HS/MI; Ron Victoria; Brian Hill; Leah Davies; Hal Portner; Tim Newlin; Barb Gilman; James Wayne; P.R. Guruprasad; Todd Nelson; Addies Gaines; Pat Hensley; Alan Haskvitz; Joy Jones; and YENDOR.

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Classroom Humor...

Teachers.Net Favorite

The Lighter Side of Teaching

Humor from the Teachers.Net Community
Teachers.Net Community
Regular Feature in the Gazette
March 1, 2008


YENDOR has retired, and while sorting through decades of accumulated STUFF he's found some interesting items. After blowing away the dust, he compiled a list of some of the most interesting finds.

Top Ten Things I Found When I Cleaned Out My School Closet
By YENDOR

  1. 1953 copy of book Are Your Students Chewing Gum?
  1. 1950 copy of book Dang, Dern, and Other Curse Words and How To Deal With Them
  1. Polyester pants I left in there for emergencies
  1. 35mm film entitled COMPUTERS…THE FAD TO COME
  1. TV Guide announcing the birth of Little Ricky on the cover
  1. Ten gallons of duplicator fluid
  1. 1960 copy of Ron Clark’s book THE ESSENTIAL 10
  1. Pamphlet entitled "What To Do When Parents Seem Too Concerned"
  1. Memo announcing faculty meeting for November 1962 re: Suggestions for what to do with your ninety minute planning period
  1. Bobby

Analogies & Metaphors
Posted by Sam I Am on The Classroom Humor Chatboard

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.

  1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

  2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

  3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

  4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

  5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

  6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

  7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

  8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

  9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

  10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

  11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm. instead of 7:30.

  12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

  13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

  14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

  15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

  16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

  17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

  18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

  19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

  20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

  21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

  22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

  23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.



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