Chapter three

"What if we are all absent on testing day?" said a very clever 3^rd grader, "I mean, all of us, not be here for testing, except one kid who likes to do this sort of stuff? There is always someone who loves to be tested on silly things that no one cares about. It would be like 'WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?' There is always someone loaded with nonsense ideas. Whatever score he or she gets, will be the average score because it will be the only score!"

"Great idea!" said a 6^th grade student. "That would solve the problem of testing and averages and stuff like that. No one really cares about each of us or each of our scores. The King and his advisors only care about averages! This would solve the problem of 'the teachable moment', too. We could still have it, and we could still 'follow the wonder' and no one else needs to know!"

What the children and the teachers did not know was that testing was only a means to an end for the King. What the King really wanted was for people to praise him and visit him in his castle. He thought that if he started this testing stuff, everyone would run to him for help, and be begging him for special treatment and stuff like that. He liked being the center of attention.

Time passed.

No one visited the King.

The next year, testing happened just like the King decreed. On test day, everyone was absent but one kid who took all the tests --just like the kids decided. This one kid liked doing that sort of thing so that the scores he got became the averages of all the kids. (This was because his scores were the only scores to average.) The average score of the schools turned out to be very high because this one kid really liked taking tests and scored very high.

Still, no one visited the King.

"This is depressing," said the King. "No groveling. No scraping. No begging. No one has come to see me! Whatever is a King good for?" moaned the King as he went about in a big circle scratching his bald head.

At that exact same moment, Rosetta Maria, who was now 9 years old, walked up the front steps of the Castle and went to see the King. She had never seen a real King before and she wanted to see one before she got to be too old.

"Hi there, King!" shouted Rosetta Maria when she saw him walking in circles.

He stopped. "Oh goody! You have come to beg, yes?" said the King.

"No," said Rosetta Maria.

"Well then, you have come to grovel, yes?" said the King.

"No," said Rosetta Maria. "And I don't know what 'grovel' means anyway."

"Well then, why are you here?" shouted the King very importantly.

"I just wanted to see what a King looked like before I got too old, that's all," said Rosetta Maria. Then she added, "How come you don't visit us at the school?"

"I, Um, ah, geez, well, that's a new concept!" said the King in a most surprised way. "I, the King, come and visit the children at the schools…hummmmmmmmmmm…what a concept!"

"What does 'concept' mean?" asked Rosetta Maria.

"It means, what is in your head, like an idea," said the King.

"Ah! You are having a moment of wonder! Maybe you could come to the school," said Rosetta Maria, " and share your wonder, and let us wonder, too."

"That's another concept!" said the King in an excited way.

So the next day, the King left his crown at the castle and came to the school where Rosetta Maria was. He sat in the classroom with the kids and had a wonderful day with Mrs. Butterberry. Mrs. Butterberry thought he was the grandfather of Rosetta Maria who had come to help. At the end of the day, when he was leaving, she thanked him for his help and invited him back.

"Why thank you," said the King to Mrs. Butterberry, "I think I shall return."

"Don't worry about the Spring testing schedule," said Mrs. Butterberry, with a twinkle in her eye. " You can come at any time. We have that problem solved."

"Solved?" asked the King.

"Testing is all about averages, not about kids," smiled Mrs. Butterberry. "So, we have our smartest student take all the tests and that score becomes the average! And the rest of us go on teaching and learning!"

"How very clever of you! But, but, isn't testing terribly important? Asked the King.

"Real Teachers don't test; they know," said the teacher with another twinkle.

"Well then," said the King, with another twinkle in his eye -- this was a day for twinkling eyes, "I know the King very well. I think I can get him to stop all that testing foolishness. What do you think of that?"

"Bless you my son," smiled Mrs. Butterberry. And so did all the other teachers, nodding their heads in agreement, as he passed by each door in the hall.

The absolute very next day the King's advisors came to read the Edict of Freedom From Testing (EOFFT).

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! Thus sayeth the King:
from this day henceforth, all testing in schools shall cease so that learning might happen in greater quality and children might enjoy what they are learning to a greater degree. There shall be no research-based standards by which to teach. There shall be no research-based teaching methods. There shall only be the 'Teachable Moment' and 'Following the Wonder'. This shall be treasured as the greatest treasure of the Land. Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!"

The advisors went away feeling very proud of themselves for they had proclaimed the Edict very well, which is the only thing that advisors do well anyway.

The King was proud to visit the schools instead of waiting for the schools to visit him. He was proud to help in the classrooms, and no one needed to know that he was the King.

The Teachers were proud to teach all the 'teachable moments' that popped up from children 'following the wonder'.

And no one was ever tested again.

(Yes, this is a serious case of hyperbole. But it is needed these days, simply to make a point.)