Bullies
Bully Advice For Kids
by Kathy Noll, Author - Taking the Bully by the Horns
Bullies can make you feel:
- sad
- depressed
- angry
- vengeful
- scared
- confused
How a bully becomes a bully:
- He is angry.
- Someone might have bullied him in the past.
- He has a low self-esteem. He thinks controlling you will help him feel better about himself.
- He might have been exposed to a lot of violence in the media. (TV, books...) A lot of movies make violence look cool. But if you look closer, the "good guy" is always cooler!
- His caretakers might have lacked in supervision. They might have been too busy to teach him how wrong it is to hurt others. Or maybe they spoiled him, making him think he can do anything he wants, including bullying!
What to do about bullies:
- Inform your parents and teachers.
- Travel to school and social events in groups. Don't walk alone. Avoid the bully at all costs.
- Ignore him. That will take away his power he "thinks" he has over you. He'll get bored, and go look for someone else to pick on.
- Confront him with the problem. Do this only if the bullying is mental, not physical. Maybe you can explain how it makes you feel. If he doesn't care, and continues to bully you, report him, and avoid him.
- Take a safety training workshop. This should only be used as a last resort (in self defense). Using this to show off for your friends, or simply because someone made you angry, could lead to law suits, and YOU becoming a bully!
I hope this information helps you. Take care of yourselves & stay safe.
To learn more about stopping bullies and youth violence go to:
http://kathynoll.com
or order a copy of Kathy Noll & Dr. Jay Carter's book, "Taking the Bully by the Horns" by sending $14.95 to:
Kathy Noll
3300 Chestnut St.
Reading, PA 19605
E-mail address: kthynoll@aol.com
Be sure to read
KATHY NOLL - BULLIES IN SCHOOL 07/08/98
and
DISARMING BULLIES 01/25/01,
live chats from the Teachers.Net Archive!
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About Jay Carter...
Dr. Jay Carter (MA, PsyD) is a Licensed Psychologist in private practice in West Reading, PA - Carter Counseling. Professional speaker since 1974, he is the best selling author of Nasty People and Nasty Men," addressing issues of conflict and difficult personalities. His books have sold 1/2 million copies, his latest one being Butterflies: The Transformation of Man.
He is on the Executive Committee for the Berks Area Psychological Society, under contract with Berks County Prison (where he learned a lot about the Bully mentality), and is currently contracted with the Caron Foundation to do evaluations for adolescents.
Dr. Carter has taught thousands of people through adult education courses and workshops dealing with Charisma, Leadership, and Difficult People. His books and workshops have made positive changes in personal and professional lives.
He has also appeared on numerous radio and TV shows around the world, and consulted with the Oprah Winfrey Show for shows on "Verbal Abuse" and "Obnoxious Husbands." "Readers Digest" consulted with him for an article on Mean People, and he was awarded with the Maggie Award for an article on the Contagiousness of Verbal Abuse in "Mothering Magazine."
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