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Teachers.Net Gazette Vol.5 No.4 April 2008 Cover Story by Marvin Marshall Immaculate Perception There is no such thing as immaculate perception. What you see is what you thought before you looked. Harry & Rosemary Wong Effective Teaching Schools That Beat the Academic Odds Columns » Are We Demanding Enough of Our Students? » The Busy Educator's Monthly Five » Podcasting 101 » Think Outside the Box » Problem-Based Learning Part 2: Good problems » Ten Ways to Foster Resiliency in Children Articles » Finger in the Dike Protects Half the Kingdom » April 2008 Writing Prompts » Amusing Abacus » Making the Grade » The Disrespecting of Social Studies » Classroom Magazines: More Than Just Shared Reading » The Silenced Majority » I Won't Learn What You Teach! » Dear Laura Bush » Choice, Access, and Relevance: Reading Workshop in the High School Classroom » Stay Inside the Lines » Chat with Grant Writing Expert LaVerne Hamlin » Proofreading and Learning Disability » Choose-a-Chart » Drexel Online Education Program Features » Featured Lessons: April 2008 » Video Bytes: Abbott and Costello, Earth Day rant and more » Today Is... Daily Commemoration for April 2008 » Live on Teachers.Net: April 2008 » The Lighter Side of Teaching » Apple Seeds: Inspiring Quotes for Teachers » HELP! Grading: How Do You Do It? » Newsdesk: Events & Opportunities for Teachers Advertisement The Teachers.Net Gazette is a collaborative project published by the Teachers.Net community Editor in Chief: Kathleen Alape Carpenter Layout Editor: Mary Miehl Cover Story by Marvin Marshall Effective Teaching by Harry & Rosemary Wong Contributors this month: Cheryl Sigmon, Marjan Glavac, Rob Reilly, Barbara & Sue Gruber, Hal Portner, Leah Davies, Tim Newlin, James Wayne, P.R. Guruprasad, Todd Nelson, Alan Haskvitz, Mandy Yates, Bill Page, Susan Rismiller, Bradley Cook, Kimberly Payne, Kevin Coffey, John Keegan, and YENDOR. Submissions: click for Submission Guidelines Advertising: contact Bob Reap Subscribe for free home delivery Email: State: - Select State (required) - Alabama Alaska Arkansas Arizona California Colorado Connecticut Delaware Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington DC Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming -- Canada United Kingdom Australia/NZ Other Featured Advertiser Links FEATURED ADVERTISER LINKS

Classroom Humor... Teachers.Net Favorite The Lighter Side of Teaching Humor from the Teachers.Net Community Teachers.Net Community Regular Feature in the Gazette April 1, 2008 Courtesy learninglaffs.com YENDOR'S TOP TEN: REASONS WHY I FINALLY RETIRED By YENDOR Students started calling me PAW PAW Was using school funds to purchase Depends. Lunchroom refused to serve Ensure with meals. Kept getting World's Oldest Teacher coffee mugs for Christmas presents. Was mistakenly identified as having scoliosis because of my slumped walk. Never could master the technology of that VHS video thing. Was caught using White Out instead of Crest White Strips. Thought NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND meant I had to be sure everyone made it to the lunchroom. Kept getting the tornado and fire drill procedures mixed up. Took them out when a tornado was coming and kept them inside during a fire. Finally got to the point where I had lived through everything that was in the history book. A Poem for Teacher Posted by B on the Classroom Humor Chatboard My mother asked me yesterday, how things were going at school. She said to give her details, and to tell her what was cool. I thought real hard, I strained my brain, and then I let it rip. I decided not to leave anything out, as the words tumbled from my lips. Calen got in trouble for pushing Keith in line, Jerry got an A on his test, and Lisa’s doing fine. Jim forgot his homework, which made the teacher frown, Austin ran fast on the playground, at least until he fell down. Jesse, Joan, and Jennifer giggled all day long, The music teacher, Mrs. Staff, tried to teach a song. Things were going really swell until Joe peeked at Tiffani’s test. The whole class had to hear a speech about not cheating and doing your best. Everybody said “Oooh,” when Jeremiah began to pick his nose. The room began to stink when Linda took off her shoes and wiggled her toes. Nobody liked it when Kelly threw up, and the phone rang three times during Spelling. Travis was finking on all of the kids, and Teacher told him to stop telling! Robert tipped his chair back and cracked his head on a desk. Dale’s tooth fell out in a pool of blood, and Lori was a great big pest. There was a practice fire drill just five minutes after Teacher started math. Joshua yelled across the room that Becky needs a bath. I guess nothing really special happened on this day, But at least I am the teacher, and I’m going to get some pay! It's in the genes Posted by John B on the Classroom Humor Chatboard I was discussing family resemblance with a class of 10-year olds. One bright spark informed me: "My mom said that the reason children look like their parents is because of something in your pants". This stumped me for a minute. Then I caught on. "Oh," I said, "You mean it's in your genes." "Right," he replied quite seriously. "It's something in your jeans." If you don't straighten up ... Posted by Pre-k teacher on the Classroom Humor Chatboard I teach pre-k and we have a housekeeping area set up for our dramatic play. One of the little girls was in the center with one of the little boys the other day and she said, "If you don't straighten up -- I'm LEAVING YOU!" It caught me by surprise. I realized that she must be hearing this at home, but I couldn't help but laughing. It's great how something unsuspected can turn around a day for a teacher. What a Laugh I Had Today! Posted by Christine on the Classroom Humor Chatboard I was earnestly trying to get the concept of MOOD in literature across to my 4th-graders. I told them it was the emotion(s) the author made you feel, and asked them for another word for "emotions." (I was looking for "feelings.") One bright boy raised his hand and confidently said "hormones." They are priceless! "Schoolies" and "Mr. Woodhead" courtesy learninglaffs.com » More Gazette articles... Discussion for: Classroom Humor, April 2008 The Lighter Side of Teaching (April 2008 Gazette) Be the first to add a comment - CLICK HERE Related Resources & Discussions on Teachers.Net... Teachers.Net Lesson Bank Classroom Humor Chatboard Teacher Mailrings Latest Posts on the Teachers.Net Classroom Humor Chatboard... Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/15/08, by Shannon. Re: How to make a board, 5/09/08, by Kevin. Re: Need cute, funny Mother's Day stories , 5/09/08, by Kenneth Hoffman. Re: Need cute, funny Mother's Day stories , 5/08/08, by Stephanie Yuhas. Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/07/08, by Amy. Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/06/08, by Noelle . Re: Teacher Retirement Party, 5/06/08, by Melissa Cassell. Re: Teacher Beatitudes, 5/04/08, by Daniel. Re: Teacher Beatitudes, 5/04/08, by Daniel. Re: Teacher Beatitudes, 5/04/08, by Daniel. retirement, 5/03/08, by barbara servedio. Re: Teacher Retirement Humor, 5/03/08, by barbara servedio. Re: Teacher Practical Joke, 5/03/08, by LaurieA. Re: Teacher Practical Joke, 4/27/08, by 3rd Eye. Easy Solution, 4/24/08, by sarah/pk/la. funny things kids say, 4/19/08, by grade one teacher. Re: Back to School Humor, 4/15/08, by kori guyton. Too ADD, 4/10/08, by Sarah/pk/la. Sa..Poop Pledge, 4/05/08, by anon. Teacher Retirement, 4/02/08, by Ann. Snotball, 4/01/08, by sla. A Poem for Teacher, 3/25/08, by B. Re: Point to Ponder, 3/17/08, by Ralph Hathcock. Re: It's in the genes, 3/17/08, by Sara. Re: Overhead projector, 3/16/08, by gene. Teacher Retirement Party, 3/11/08, by Amy Farley. The Lighter Side of Teaching - Teachers.Net Gazette humor, 3/06/08, by Teachers.Net. It's in the genes, 3/02/08, by John B. Re: Teacher Retirement, 2/29/08, by j.. Re: Any humorous skits for teachers?, 2/29/08, by Debbie Ellis. Re: Any humorous skits for teachers?, 2/26/08, by Peter and Cherish. Re: Message to Nathan, 2/22/08, by Kristina. Re: Daddys in jail!, 2/17/08, by FB. Re: Ape Lincoln, 2/17/08, by FB. Re: Teacher Retirement, 2/07/08, by Alice Childs. Discussion

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