Bullies
Tips for teachers being bullied!
by Kathy Noll, Author - Taking the Bully by the Horns
It's not just kids who are being bullied today. As adults we receive plenty of ridicule, invalidation, and belittling by our fellow co-workers, associates, and even so-called friends!
Here are a few things to keep in mind the next time someone is trying to put you down, harass you, or make you feel small:
Don't allow other people to intimidate you. They are no better than you even though they might act like they are. Usually people will invalidate others because they have a low self-esteem. Don't mistake arrogance for a high self-esteem. If someone really has a good self-esteem, then why the need to control others? And that is what bullying is about - "control."
Stick up for yourself. Before responding to verbal bullying, take a deep breath and think for a moment what you are about to say. Be firm and polite. Let others see that you are strong and they can not take advantage of you.
If someone refuses to listen to you, or becomes verbally abusive, walk away. Ignoring a bully takes away his/her power they think they have over you. When they see they are no longer "getting to you," their control game is over.
And finally - - be yourself. Bullies will try very hard to make you think there is something wrong with YOU. All their anger, all their frustrations with their own life - they try to hold over your head to make you feel small. Always remember that YOU are OK, and they are the ones who need help.
To learn more about these topics, or our speaking engagements, please visit: http://kathynoll.com
About Kathy Noll...
Kathy Noll was always creative as a child, making up stories to entertain friends, and that still holds true today. Taking a two-year writing course to improve her techniques, she has also learned a lot through observation, and over-thinking!
Kathy says, "With me, the most important thing in writing is notes, notes, notes! Everything in my environment gives me ideas throughout the day, and I'm quick to write them down so I don't forget. Some of the stuff might fit what I'm currently working on. The rest, I'll save as inspiration for future projects."
"I have also found that I can write the best, and get the most done, when I play the role of the hermit! Sometimes I compare myself to Beethoven. In that when we're working on something creative, we neglect ourselves in order to stay focused and get it finished quickly. For example: hair-unbrushed, clothes-unchanged, stomach-unfed!"
She has also had her short stories/articles published in magazines along with interviews, helped NBC news monitor a classroom in Philadelphia for bullying behavior, and also helped many people with their own bully problems through her book, educational and family related internet chats, message board hosting, and e-mail.
"Writing this book has generated many letters of thanks from both adults and children." She shares with us how this book has touched her:
"I want to mention a dear little boy with only one leg who gets teased at his school. He opened my book as a gift from his mother on Christmas morning, and didn't put it down until he finished.
He then said, "I feel a lot better about myself now; this is the best book I ever read."
When his mother told me this, with tears in my eyes I told her, "Now I know why I wrote the book.""
Please e-mail me at: kthynoll@aol.com
To learn more about stopping bullies and youth violence go to:
http://kathynoll.com
or order a copy of Kathy Noll & Dr. Jay Carter's book, "Taking the Bully by the Horns" by sending $14.95 to:
Kathy Noll
3300 Chestnut St.
Reading, PA 19605
E-mail address: kthynoll@aol.com
Be sure to read
KATHY NOLL - BULLIES IN SCHOOL 07/08/98
and
DISARMING BULLIES 01/25/01,
live chats from the Teachers.Net Archive!
Best Sellers
Taking the Bully by the Horns
by Kathy Noll & Jay Carter
$12.95 from Amazon.com
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Nasty People
by Jay Carter
$7.95 from Amazon.com
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Nasty Men
by Jay Carter
$7.95 from Amazon.com
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About Jay Carter...
Dr. Jay Carter (MA, PsyD) is a Licensed Psychologist in private practice in West Reading, PA - Carter Counseling. Professional speaker since 1974, he is the best selling author of Nasty People and Nasty Men," addressing issues of conflict and difficult personalities. His books have sold 1/2 million copies, his latest one being Butterflies: The Transformation of Man.
He is on the Executive Committee for the Berks Area Psychological Society, under contract with Berks County Prison (where he learned a lot about the Bully mentality), and is currently contracted with the Caron Foundation to do evaluations for adolescents.
Dr. Carter has taught thousands of people through adult education courses and workshops dealing with Charisma, Leadership, and Difficult People. His books and workshops have made positive changes in personal and professional lives.
He has also appeared on numerous radio and TV shows around the world, and consulted with the Oprah Winfrey Show for shows on "Verbal Abuse" and "Obnoxious Husbands." "Readers Digest" consulted with him for an article on Mean People, and he was awarded with the Maggie Award for an article on the Contagiousness of Verbal Abuse in "Mothering Magazine."
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