Dear Barbara,

I am exhausted! I just spent a day with first graders. Although they are cute and give you lots of notes with hearts and rainbows, they are so needy!

My question is: Should I ignore the tattle tales? It works sometimes. If I buy into those tattle tales, I feel as if I’m encouraging even more. Please help with this impossible situation.

Joan from Atlanta, GA

Dear Joan,

I’ve been there! I find tattle tales in the primary grades to be one of the most challenging aspects of subbing.

Here’s what works for me. When the first tattle tale starts, I say, “I don’t believe in tattle tales. You are grown up students. You should be able to solve problems on your own. If a classmate is doing something you don’t like, but it’s not affecting you, just ignore the behavior. It’s my job to handle that behavior. Please tell me about your problems only in a crisis (describe crisis). Does anyone have any questions?” Then give some examples of how to handle unkind words, without teacher involvement. When you notice a child handling his/her own problems, praise the behavior publicly.

This brief discussion is worth the time spent. It will save hours of dealing with unimportant issues.

Here are some cleaver ideas that I have seen in other classrooms.

1. Tattle Tale Dale – a stuffed animal sits in a chair. Students are encouraged to tell Dale what’s bothering them. It seems to work!
2. Ask students to write you a note instead of tattling. Tell them you will read the note when you have free time, and deal with the issue then.
3. Give rewards to students that handle problems independently.

With best regards,
Barbara

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