Bad News For School Year 2003-2004
shared by Jezzy

Due to the projected increase in workload in the coming year due to the new master schedule and the No Child Left Behind Act, the district has decided that it can no longer afford for you to take time out of your busy schedule to go to the restroom. Instead, to increase teacher efficiency the district has gone to considerable expense to remodel your classroom over the summer to accommodate your restroom needs starting in August.
See classroom layout below.

Chuckles
Teacher Jokes
shared by Frankie

Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?
Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!

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Teacher: What are you reading?
Pupil: I don't know.
Teacher: But your reading aloud?
Pupil: But I'm not listening!

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Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago?
Pupil: Me!

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Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

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Teacher: How can you prove the world is round?
Pupil: I didn't say it was!

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Teacher: Name two pronouns?
Pupil: Who? Me?

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Teacher: What's an American Indian's wife called?
Pupil: A squaw
Teacher: That's right, and what are their babies called?
Pupil: Squawkers!

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Teacher: Fred, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you've only done it 7 times?
Pupil: Looks like my counting isn't too good either!

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Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing has improved.
Pupil: Thank you
Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!

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Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making?
Dad: Why is that, what are you making?
Pupil: Mistakes!

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Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the wife of a Sultan is called?
Pupil: A sultana!

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Teacher: Where are elephants found?
Pupil: I don't know, they are so big I didn't think they could get lost!

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Teacher: If you add 34, 312 + 76, 188, divide the answer by 3 and times by 4, what do you get?
Pupil: The wrong answer!

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Teacher: If there are seven flies a desk and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?
Pupil: Just the squashed one!

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