"My Mom had crabs but I didn't!" and other gems from the mouths of kindergartners

Kindergartners say the cutest things!
From the Kindergarten Teachers' Chatboard

Today I was working with our Pre-k guys, making a big book. Their program was last night so my question was "Who did you see at the program last night?" One little guy gave a list including grandpa. He drew him with a cane and he turned to me very seriously and said, "He's really old, like you!" I burst out laughing! It made my day.

Today during developmental center time a few of my kids were writing sight words on white boards when one of them breaks out into song... The song? "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. I couldn't help laughing.

Just the other day I was putting out mats for rest time and putting their "binder books" on the mats for journal time while they rest. The kids were coming from lunch and getting ready for recess. One of my little boys came in, saw what I was doing and said, "Oh good, you're getting our Bibles out!"

We're studying our five senses and read about eyes, seeing, etc. and I told them that when I was little I wore glasses. Several related the people they know that wear glasses. Then I shared that I now wear contacts and several more shared who they knew that wear contacts. One little girl then spoke out, "My mom wears contacts, but she didn't have time to put them in this morning, so she just had me help her drive."

During circle time a while back, one student shared something about crabs. Another student responded, "My mom had crabs, but I didn't!"

Just today, I heard, "I can't believe it! I read that with my eyes closed!"

When making a bunny with tall ears to attach to a head I accidentally said put a dot of glue on yours ears. Looked up to see a boy with glue dripping off his own ears.

The other day at recess my para looked over to see one of the girls spitting out a bunch of grass. She said, "We don't eat grass," and the girl indignantly stated, "I thought it was the kind of grass that horses eat!"

I was doing a letter assessment on a kindergarten student. The abc chart was behind his back. I asked him to make the letter F. He turned around to look at the chart. I said, "No, I want to see if you can make it without looking." Yep, he turned back around, covered his eyes, and proceeded to try to make an F.

Last year my principal put off our mandatory 2 tornado drills and then decided to have both in one day. My kids were fine till they heard there would be a second one. One adorable little girl said, "Why do we need another tomato drill?"

One year I had 4 Justins in my class. I noticed one day that when the class said the pledge, they were all saying, "…with liberty and Justins for all!" That was the same year as the presidential election between Bill Clinton and Bob Dole. On election day I asked the kids if they knew who was running for president. One boy got very excited and said, "I know! It's Slick Willie and the pineapple guy!"

While teaching the children about constellations, I asked them to repeat that word while they created their own constellation. One child replied." I made Draco a constipation!"

I used to call the bright colored paper funky green or funky pink. All was fine until one child said, "Teacher, can I have the f_ck_n green paper?" Yeah, I learned to change it to "bright green."

My principal sent an email asking us if we had had a tornado drill this year? I couldn't remember.. I thought maybe so I asked the kids. It was a "No, but we have had a code green, red, yellow... and for me to ask Mr. Paul (principal) when are we going to have a code blue or white and evacuate the building?

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