It is time to unravel the knot of conflict between students and schools and disentangle the web of lawsuits that could easily overtake the better measure of capitalizing on the cooperation and communication that the Facebook age brings to educational settings.

Parents are aching for guidance and the more home and school can partner, the better off communities will be. One parent commented:

“With a son in high school, I've had a lot of opportunity to think about Facebook and the issues it presents, which are certainly complex. Although I continue to have mixed feelings about the whole phenomenon, Facebook is -- for all intents and purposes – unavoidable in high school.

Schools can put their heads in the sand and ignore the problem. They can draw a line in the sand, with zero tolerance rules written into school handbooks, or they can shift with the changing sands of social networking and seek solutions to incorporate social networking and utilize it as part of the educational program for students.

However, I really don't think it's unavoidable in middle school. Because we believe that part of what students learn in middle school is to organize themselves and be responsible and independent about their work, we don't allow our daughter to have a Facebook page. It's just too tempting and too time-consuming, and there is so much other stuff on which we would like to see her spending time. Furthermore, the issues about privacy, sensitivity and good judgment are complicated, and somewhat challenging for a middleschooler to navigate gracefully.”

This parent is begging for guidance from the school. Clear boundaries exist at home, but the concern over how much and how soon a student should enter the Facebook age has this parent searching for answers. She goes on to ask the school to take a stance on Facebook accounts in middle school:

“Anyway, I know that the school is not -- nor should it be -- in a position to tell families what to permit in their homes. However, I wonder if parents would be at all receptive to a strong recommendation from the school that kids hold off on having Facebook pages until they leave middle school. Maybe the horse has already left the barn on this one -- or maybe you don't agree with me! -- but I think that if you do share my concerns, it might be worth considering whether the school wants to take an official stance on this.”

What is interesting about this parent’s comment is that she is not alone in her request. She is not abdicating responsibility for managing her child at home. She is just asking for a unified voice between home and school. This is not unreasonable.

However, students are not ready for this to happen, and in fact, putting a full-scale ban on Facebook runs counter to all of the current research that highlights the meteoric rise of Facebook use among teens. Project Tomorrow, the Irvine, California-based organization that sponsors an annual survey of students, teachers, parents, and administrators, saw a 150 percent increase between 2007 and 2008 “in the proportion of students using Facebook and other social-networking sites to work with their peers on group projects for school (Schools Seen as Inhibiting Student Tech. Use, Education Week, March 24, 2009).”

Beyond the widespread use among teens, there is a vast gulf separating students and adults, in terms of understanding the culture of social networking. Grown ups (ages 30 and over), are often appalled at the colorful language students use on Facebook, and are unable to wrap their heads around how flippant students can be on their Facebook walls, which are open to public view. When asked about this behavior, students look at the adults as if they have three heads. One student responded: “I know I swear on Facebook, but everyone I know swears on Facebook. My friends are not offended by my posts.”

Schools are not obligated to censor student use of Facebook, especially when Facebook is not accessible on many campuses, but schools do have a responsibility to alert parents, when the school becomes aware of student mis-steps on Facebook.

A recent article in The New York Times asks “Is Facebook Growing Up Too Fast?” (New York Times, 3/29/09). The more appropriate question to ask is whether schools are evolving too slowly with Facebook and social networking. The pedagogical possibilities are profound, and the opportunity to provide social and emotional guidance to students (and their families) in their use of Facebook must be broached. There exists a unique moment to better align students and adults, especially with the mushrooming of Facebook use by the “older” generation.

Facebook has just eclipsed the 200 million-user mark and the longer we all wait to engage, and not spurn, Facebook in school communities, the worse off students, families, and educators will be.

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