I would like to address the topic of the intricacies within the normal workday which tend to grind on a person’s sanity and stress level. I thought that this situation existed only among teachers, but after visiting with Rufus, I discovered that other folks in different occupations were also affected by this condition when they, too, are forced to use a copy machine.

The machine which I’m referring to is the "technologically advanced" copy machine. Whoever invented this dastardly device should be sentenced to attempting to operate it for 10 to 20 years with no chance of early release due to good behavior. There is no way a person could possibly operate these finicky machines and remain within the bounds of "good behavior."

In the "good ole days," a person could place a small object on the copy machine, and the copy machine would promptly make a copy of it. I can remember years ago when somebody placed a note above our copy machine which stated, "Place face down to copy." I was unable to resist the temptation to place my face on the copy machine and press the "start" button. The copy machine immediately copied my face, and I placed the copy on the wall above the copy machine.

With our "high technology" machines today, this is totally impossible. In fact I have unsuccessfully attempted to copy my face several times on our new copy machines. The stupid machine can’t figure out what size paper to use and asks me to enter the proper size of the paper. It doesn’t matter which size of paper I tell the imbecile machine to use, it refuses to make a copy of my face. A person would think that with the amount of technology that is programmed into these machines, they would at least inform me that my face is too ugly to copy, but instead the machines are consternated by the proper size of paper necessary to copy my face.

If by chance, I happen to con the copy machine into copying my face, it most assuredly would encounter a paper jam. With our former machine, I was able to give it a swift kick and get its attention so that it would get back to work in the realization that I wasn’t going to be taken in by its feeble attempt to claim that paper was jammed within its confines. However, our new copy machine provides endless pictures of where paper has become jammed within the various locations of extractable parts. Notoriously, after breaking down all of the suggested sections of the machine, the paper jam will still remain

I’ve often been tempted to label a certain part of our "new, improved and lemon freshened" copying machine as the "butt" so that teachers could at least kick the copy machine in the "butt" and possibly receive a bit of gratification when they attempt to make a few copies just before the bell rings and the copier decides to experience one of its infamous paper jam fits.