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Well the big deal is:

1) You may not be able to refuse.

2) Letters are usually confidential and closed, however private
schools arent government entities, they may cave and quickly if
enough legal pressure is brought to bare, especially if they
determine your recourse against them is either financially
prohibitive or allowed, required by law.

3) School districts have complete authority to regulate any and all
communication on behalf of the school and district.

On 1/10/15, my 2 wrote:
> A recommendation for private school goes in a sealed envelope,
> mailed by the teacher, to the private school. At that point,
> it is not revealed to the parents. I don't get what the issue
> is. A person can refuse to give a recommendation. The
> private school will use other items such as test scores on
> tests that they give, and in my son's case, an interview that
> was extensive. I would not worry that the school will accept
> this student. There is one caveat. If the private school
> wants to accept this student because they want the parents'
> money, then they will do so no matter what the recommendation
> says anyway, which might be the case. If that is the case, so
> what?
>
>
>
> On 1/10/15, Curious wrote:
>> A person in my department is being pressured by the family
> of a SpEd student
>> to give a recommendation for an elite professional school.
> This student has
>> been provided with an enormous amount of support and her
> IEP's water down
>> even some of the basic skills and principles of the classes
> involved. Sadly, the
>> administration is terrified of the parents because one is a
> well connected
>> lawyer.
>>
>> This student, who I have also had in class, has a low IQ, is
> limited in every
>> aspect of reading, writing and speaking. In addition the
> student has other
>> disorders which her parents have taken pains to avoid
> revealing to the student
>> who is now nearly 18. The parents have basically demanded
> every kind of
>> implementation available, to the point of even threatening
> standardized
>> testing organizations if they don't allow the student to
> exercise all of the IEP
>> demands that include extended time, access to dictionary and
> more. They
>> didn't ask me for a recommendation because I was very
> straightforward about
>> this student's abilities. The teacher in my department is a
> very sweet lady who
>> is dealing with a number of personal issues and the family
> and administration
>> are using this opportunity to bully her into a
> recommendation. So LEGALLY,
>> can the administration force the teacher to do this?

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