Dear Barbara,

My concern is that I might “loose it” someday and begin shouting. I don’t want to make a fool of myself. I came dangerously close this afternoon. I was teaching sixth grade reading. I was working with students who struggle academically. Naturally, they are not terribly interested in the work, especially when a sub is in for the day.

I simply could not get their attention. No one cared. I tired everything. And I just lost it. I yelled and pleaded. Even I could sense that I sounded pathetic!

How can I avoid loosing my temper?

Adam in Los Angeles

Dear Adam,

Every sub has had days like that. You are not alone. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are days when you just can’t seem to gain control, no matter what you do. Everyone “looses it” once or twice in his or her teaching career.

Please remember one thing: no matter what happens in that room, no matter how angry you feel, do not loose your temper. Once you do, you are no longer in control. Be aware that you are the authority figure in that room. You are setting an important tone.

Try to focus on the few students who are cooperating. Praise them. Change your voice inflection. Tell the class that when work is completed, there will be an opportunity for free time.

Now try to isolate the source of disruption. Usually one or two students are the culprits. Rather than punishing the whole class, take aside the cause of the problem, look him right in the eye, and ask him to get to work now. Tell him this is his one and only warning. If he continues to act out, give him a referral, a detention, or send him to the office with a note. This will show the others that you are serious. Sometimes you need to make an example of one student to get attention and to gain control.

Best wishes,
Barbara

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