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Thank you Paris. That is the most insightful, eye opening
response I could have imagined, because it rings so true.
Its like something I instantly knew to be true and don't
understand why I was blind to it before you said it. Every
single decision I've made (even, honestly speaking, my
reluctance to give swats) has been based on how I think
others would see me. Other teachers, my students, my
mentors back in the northeast. With me constantly
bouncing around from image in my mind to image in my
mind (of how others see me), I have never set up a
consistent version of myself. I've been more successful in
other classes cause even though it was an image (not the
real me), it "worked" well enough that I didn't question it.
But the honors students have pushed more, and I kept
changing. What I really need to do is find the real me.

Thank you so much. I worry that whatever changes I
decide to make this weekend will come across as "yet
another" change. But at least it'll be to an authentic me
that I can consistently follow. Long term, that's what will
help the most. And I think I might contact the shop
instructor to make me a paddle, just so I have options.

Thanks again!

On 3/25/17, Paris wrote:
> That's not true that the only difference is giving
> swats. The other difference is your lack of
> consistency. You've made constant changes over how
> you approach classroom management and discipline.
> These are smart girls they can sense you are unsure
> of yourself and are taking advantage of your internal
> struggle. If you want to give them swats, then give
> them swats, if you don't, don't, but stop trying to be
> the teacher you feel they want or need and be the
> teacher you are, and then do that tomorrow, and the
> next day and keep doing it. What will happen in time is
> the routine will become the rule and word will get out
> what the expectations are and where the line in the
> sand is drawn.
>

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