Re: Subject:: No Child Left Behind

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On 6/26/08, Mikey wrote:
> Subject: No Child Left Behind
>
> In response to President Bush's Federal No Child Left
> Behind Act, students will have to pass it to be promoted
> to the next grade level. In the hopes that it will be
> uniformly adopted by all the states, it will be called the
> Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test or (FART).
>
> All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade
> will be retested in grades 3, 4, and 5 until such a time
> as they are capable of achieving a FART score of 80%.
>
> If a student does not successfully FART by grade 5, that
> student shall be placed in a separate English program, the
> Special Mastery Elective for Learning Language (SMELL).
>
> If with this increased SMELL program the student cannot
> pass the required FART test, he or she can graduate to
> middle school by taking a one-semester course in
> Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preparation (CRAP).
>
> If by age fourteen, the student cannot FART, SMELL, or
> CRAP, he will earn his promotion in an intensive one-year
> seminar. This is the Preparatory Reading for Unprepared
> Nationally Exempted Students (PRUNES). It is the opinion
> of the Department of Education that an intensive one year
> program of PRUNES will enable any student to FART, SMELL,
> or CRAP.
>
> This revised provision of the student-testing component of
> House Bill 110 should help clear the air. This is part of
> the "No School Left Standing Act".
>
> (Disclaimer: The contents of this paragraph do not
> necessarily reflect its sender's serious opinion about
> anything, as the sender never seems to have serious
> opinions about anything!!!)
What, then ,happens if the PRUNES doesn't work? Do they offer
another program to help them CRAP?

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