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Re: NOT John Cleese and the Axis of Evil
Posted by J Forte on 4/12/03
On 3/20/03, Joe Mama wrote:
> On 3/18/03, Eddie wrote:
>> Not really classroom humor either, but good for a
>> laugh...Axis of Evil Wannabes, by John Cleese
>>
>> Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
>> Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had
>> formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be
>> more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis
>> President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
>>
>>
>>
>> Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the
>> new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb
>> name. "Right. They are Just as evil...in their dreams!"
>> declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows
>> we're the best evils... best at being evil...we're the
>> best."
>>
>>
>>
>> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being
>> excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could
>> join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said
>> Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more
>> than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam
>> Hussein. This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War
>> II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So,
>> you can only have three, and a secret handshake.
>>
>> Ours is wickedly cool."
>>
>>
>>
>> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration
>> was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
>>
>>
>> Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain
>> triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical
>> chairs.
>>
>>
>> Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of
>> Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and
>> Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while
>> Bulgaria,Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not
>> So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."
>>
>>
>> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable
>> clubs filling up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda
>> applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the
>> Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."
>>
>>
>> Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
>> That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty
>> Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and
>> Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to
>>
>> ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really,
>> just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive
>> First Minister Jack McConnell.
>>
>>
>> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't
>> perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval
>> for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of
>> the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing
>> one of its members of filing a false application. Officials
>> from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
>>
>>
>>
>> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any
>> Axis, but privately,
>>
>> world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
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