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Re: John Cleese and the Axis of Evil![]()
Posted by adny on 8/31/03
On 3/18/03, Eddie wrote:
> Not really classroom humor either, but good for a
> laugh...Axis of Evil Wannabes, by John Cleese
>
> Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
> Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had
> formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be
> more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis
> President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
>
>
>
> Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the
> new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb
> name. "Right. They are Just as evil...in their dreams!"
> declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows
> we're the best evils... best at being evil...we're the
> best."
>
>
>
> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being
> excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could
> join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said
> Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more
> than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam
> Hussein. This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War
> II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So,
> you can only have three, and a secret handshake.
>
> Ours is wickedly cool."
>
>
>
> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration
> was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
>
>
> Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain
> triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical
> chairs.
>
>
> Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of
> Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and
> Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while
> Bulgaria,Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not
> So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."
>
>
> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable
> clubs filling up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda
> applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the
> Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."
>
>
> Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
> That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty
> Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and
> Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to
>
> ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really,
> just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive
> First Minister Jack McConnell.
>
>
> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't
> perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval
> for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of
> the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing
> one of its members of filing a false application. Officials
> from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
>
>
>
> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any
> Axis, but privately,
>
> world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!