J. W. Hooper

Posted on 6/21/09

On 6/21/09, Ksenia wrote:
> First off, I know this is probably the wrong forum to post
> this message, but it didn't really seem to belong in any of
> the forums-- I apologize.
>
> I'll just jump right in. I'm a 22-year old college student,
> and this summer I took an English class from a wonderful
> professor who happens to be exactly 31 years my senior
> (53). It was a small class, so I got many chances to
> interact with "Professor G." I found him to be a very
> intelligent, funny and interesting person, and a few weeks
> into the semester, I realized I couldn't get him off my
> mind. I went to many of his office hours under the guise
> of "needing help" with assignments, never missed a single
> lecture, stayed at class late to talk to him, etc.
>
> Professor G always seemed to welcome my presence and enjoy
> our conversations. He complimented my writing many times
> during class and even called a couple of my poems and short
> stories some of the best works he's ever received. (Yes, I
> was floating on clouds after that! ) Two weeks ago, I was
> talking to him during his office hours and he mentioned
> that the other students really look up to me and think I'm
> so smart and pretty. I know I shouldn't read anything into
> that comment, but at the same time I couldn't help but
> wonder if someone had actually told him that-- or if it was
> his own guess..?
>
> On Wednesday, our last day of class, Professor G gave me a
> book that he had mentioned a couple times over the course
> of the semester and urged me to read. I hadn't had time to
> pick it up yet, and he knew this, and so he went out and
> bought me a copy. I was so happy! Every nice gesture he has
> made to me, every compliment he has paid.....I treasure
> them and cling to them with my whole heart. --It's really
> very pathetic.
>
> Now-- Professor G has a wife and 2 sons, and I know he is
> only interested me as an excellent student, nothing more. I
> know this, yet I can't seem to stop thinking about
> him.....it's been nearly three days since school let out,
> yet his face is the last thing I picture before I fall
> asleep, I find myself writing his name absentmindedly on
> papers, I yearn to talk to him again. (By the way, this is
> not a superficial attraction. Professor G is by no stretch
> of imagination what one might label "hot." He resembles
> Robin Williams much more than he does Richard Gere.)
>
> It's gotten to the point where I'm scaring myself with
> my "obsession" with this man. I know this crush is largely
> based on fantasy, and I have absolutely no desire or
> intention to break up his marriage-- not that I'd fool
> myself into thinking that I even could in the first place!
> I know a romantic relationship between us is wholly
> impossible. I really can't figure out what's wrong with me.
> Why have I become so impossibly drawn to this man? I'm sure
> this crush is unhealthy and probably makes me out to be
> some sort of insane little girl to those of you who're
> reading this, and believe me, if I could kill these
> feelings, I would.
>
> I've written this embarrassing message because I need
> help/advice....I'm driving myself crazy by moping around
> thinking of Professor G every day. I go out and have fun
> with my friends, but still, he's always there lurking in
> the back of my mind. I must stop this! Please help, in any
> way possible. I'm much too embarrassed to discuss this
> issue with either family or friends.
>
Dear Sigh:
Was interesting reading your letter. Brought back some fond
memories....I was this professor. Well, what i mean is it
happened to me too...and i married the gal! She half my age
and i knew it, but Like you, I et love get in the way and i
offered love back! The same thing happen to me as to you...I
found her very attractive, and went after her. To make a long
story short, I was not married at the time, but engaged to a
pretty girl from college who I just forgot about do to this
obession over some young hot thing! Anyway, I married her
and three kids later divorced! Would I do it again, NO! It
was crazy and if you are smart, you will walk away too...You
will only ruin his life and marriage if you persue it..
Good luck!
Professor H

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