I know what a few others said, but I like to give the benefit
of the doubt. Is it really so far fetched that a college
student would have a crush on one of her professors? It
happens. Remember, college freshmen are usually 18, 19, 20
years old, they are still basically adolescents with all the
crazy hormones that entails. In this case she says she is 22,
it isn't completely unheard of for someone in their 20's to be
interested in someone in their 50's (though I'm sure there
would be a more obvious board to post on than here).

So, to the OP:

I would treat this like any other crush you can't pursue. I'm
sure you've had interests in men that just weren't possible,
how did you deal with those?

College isn't high school. It is normal for professors to
start to develop friendships with some of their students.
Heck, I was in my mid-20s when I went back to college, some of
my professors were my age (or even a tad younger by the time I
graduated). You are an adult, they are adults, and if you are
majoring in their subject you probably have some interests in
common. So, just as you can be friends with a boss (someone
else you can be social with despite having a relationship with
an imbalance of power in one aspect of your lives) you can have
a friendship with a professor. It is likely he was just being
friendly, and even if he is interested he has a family and
probably won't return any advances (so don't do it).

If you find it too difficult, you should probably go to the
school counseling center to talk to someone. They aren't just
there for major mental illness or anxiety, they can help with
more mild "life issues" such as an inappropriate crush (a
married man) that you are having trouble controlling.

On 6/21/09, Ksenia wrote:
> First off, I know this is probably the wrong forum to post
> this message, but it didn't really seem to belong in any of
> the forums-- I apologize.
>
> I'll just jump right in. I'm a 22-year old college student,
> and this summer I took an English class from a wonderful
> professor who happens to be exactly 31 years my senior
> (53). It was a small class, so I got many chances to
> interact with "Professor G." I found him to be a very
> intelligent, funny and interesting person, and a few weeks
> into the semester, I realized I couldn't get him off my
> mind. I went to many of his office hours under the guise
> of "needing help" with assignments, never missed a single
> lecture, stayed at class late to talk to him, etc.
>
> Professor G always seemed to welcome my presence and enjoy
> our conversations. He complimented my writing many times
> during class and even called a couple of my poems and short
> stories some of the best works he's ever received. (Yes, I
> was floating on clouds after that! ) Two weeks ago, I was
> talking to him during his office hours and he mentioned
> that the other students really look up to me and think I'm
> so smart and pretty. I know I shouldn't read anything into
> that comment, but at the same time I couldn't help but
> wonder if someone had actually told him that-- or if it was
> his own guess..?
>
> On Wednesday, our last day of class, Professor G gave me a
> book that he had mentioned a couple times over the course
> of the semester and urged me to read. I hadn't had time to
> pick it up yet, and he knew this, and so he went out and
> bought me a copy. I was so happy! Every nice gesture he has
> made to me, every compliment he has paid.....I treasure
> them and cling to them with my whole heart. --It's really
> very pathetic.
>
> Now-- Professor G has a wife and 2 sons, and I know he is
> only interested me as an excellent student, nothing more. I
> know this, yet I can't seem to stop thinking about
> him.....it's been nearly three days since school let out,
> yet his face is the last thing I picture before I fall
> asleep, I find myself writing his name absentmindedly on
> papers, I yearn to talk to him again. (By the way, this is
> not a superficial attraction. Professor G is by no stretch
> of imagination what one might label "hot." He resembles
> Robin Williams much more than he does Richard Gere.)
>
> It's gotten to the point where I'm scaring myself with
> my "obsession" with this man. I know this crush is largely
> based on fantasy, and I have absolutely no desire or
> intention to break up his marriage-- not that I'd fool
> myself into thinking that I even could in the first place!
> I know a romantic relationship between us is wholly
> impossible. I really can't figure out what's wrong with me.
> Why have I become so impossibly drawn to this man? I'm sure
> this crush is unhealthy and probably makes me out to be
> some sort of insane little girl to those of you who're
> reading this, and believe me, if I could kill these
> feelings, I would.
>
> I've written this embarrassing message because I need
> help/advice....I'm driving myself crazy by moping around
> thinking of Professor G every day. I go out and have fun
> with my friends, but still, he's always there lurking in
> the back of my mind. I must stop this! Please help, in any
> way possible. I'm much too embarrassed to discuss this
> issue with either family or friends.
>

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