LOL!!! Ksenia, i find it hilarious how you reacted to Jeff's
response to you. He was trying to be helpful and you took it the
wrong way. Makes me think you are still a child..

On 6/23/09, Ksenia wrote:
> Dear Jeff,
>
> I do not find it "too difficult" but am afraid it may be like
> that for him. I do not need to go to counseling but
> nevertheless, thanks for worrying about me so much. I believe i
> would never even develop this crush if it weren't for the way
> you treats me....he has initiated this. I know it.
>
> On 6/23/09, Jeff wrote:
>> I know what a few others said, but I like to give the benefit
>> of the doubt. Is it really so far fetched that a college
>> student would have a crush on one of her professors? It
>> happens. Remember, college freshmen are usually 18, 19, 20
>> years old, they are still basically adolescents with all the
>> crazy hormones that entails. In this case she says she is 22,
>> it isn't completely unheard of for someone in their 20's to be
>> interested in someone in their 50's (though I'm sure there
>> would be a more obvious board to post on than here).
>>
>> So, to the OP:
>>
>> I would treat this like any other crush you can't pursue. I'm
>> sure you've had interests in men that just weren't possible,
>> how did you deal with those?
>>
>> College isn't high school. It is normal for professors to
>> start to develop friendships with some of their students.
>> Heck, I was in my mid-20s when I went back to college, some of
>> my professors were my age (or even a tad younger by the time I
>> graduated). You are an adult, they are adults, and if you are
>> majoring in their subject you probably have some interests in
>> common. So, just as you can be friends with a boss (someone
>> else you can be social with despite having a relationship with
>> an imbalance of power in one aspect of your lives) you can have
>> a friendship with a professor. It is likely he was just being
>> friendly, and even if he is interested he has a family and
>> probably won't return any advances (so don't do it).
>>
>> If you find it too difficult, you should probably go to the
>> school counseling center to talk to someone. They aren't just
>> there for major mental illness or anxiety, they can help with
>> more mild "life issues" such as an inappropriate crush (a
>> married man) that you are having trouble controlling.
>>
>>
>> On 6/21/09, Ksenia wrote:
>>> First off, I know this is probably the wrong forum to post
>>> this message, but it didn't really seem to belong in any of
>>> the forums-- I apologize.
>>>
>>> I'll just jump right in. I'm a 22-year old college student,
>>> and this summer I took an English class from a wonderful
>>> professor who happens to be exactly 31 years my senior
>>> (53). It was a small class, so I got many chances to
>>> interact with "Professor G." I found him to be a very
>>> intelligent, funny and interesting person, and a few weeks
>>> into the semester, I realized I couldn't get him off my
>>> mind. I went to many of his office hours under the guise
>>> of "needing help" with assignments, never missed a single
>>> lecture, stayed at class late to talk to him, etc.
>>>
>>> Professor G always seemed to welcome my presence and enjoy
>>> our conversations. He complimented my writing many times
>>> during class and even called a couple of my poems and short
>>> stories some of the best works he's ever received. (Yes, I
>>> was floating on clouds after that! ) Two weeks ago, I was
>>> talking to him during his office hours and he mentioned
>>> that the other students really look up to me and think I'm
>>> so smart and pretty. I know I shouldn't read anything into
>>> that comment, but at the same time I couldn't help but
>>> wonder if someone had actually told him that-- or if it was
>>> his own guess..?
>>>
>>> On Wednesday, our last day of class, Professor G gave me a
>>> book that he had mentioned a couple times over the course
>>> of the semester and urged me to read. I hadn't had time to
>>> pick it up yet, and he knew this, and so he went out and
>>> bought me a copy. I was so happy! Every nice gesture he has
>>> made to me, every compliment he has paid.....I treasure
>>> them and cling to them with my whole heart. --It's really
>>> very pathetic.
>>>
>>> Now-- Professor G has a wife and 2 sons, and I know he is
>>> only interested me as an excellent student, nothing more. I
>>> know this, yet I can't seem to stop thinking about
>>> him.....it's been nearly three days since school let out,
>>> yet his face is the last thing I picture before I fall
>>> asleep, I find myself writing his name absentmindedly on
>>> papers, I yearn to talk to him again. (By the way, this is
>>> not a superficial attraction. Professor G is by no stretch
>>> of imagination what one might label "hot." He resembles
>>> Robin Williams much more than he does Richard Gere.)
>>>
>>> It's gotten to the point where I'm scaring myself with
>>> my "obsession" with this man. I know this crush is largely
>>> based on fantasy, and I have absolutely no desire or
>>> intention to break up his marriage-- not that I'd fool
>>> myself into thinking that I even could in the first place!
>>> I know a romantic relationship between us is wholly
>>> impossible. I really can't figure out what's wrong with me.
>>> Why have I become so impossibly drawn to this man? I'm sure
>>> this crush is unhealthy and probably makes me out to be
>>> some sort of insane little girl to those of you who're
>>> reading this, and believe me, if I could kill these
>>> feelings, I would.
>>>
>>> I've written this embarrassing message because I need
>>> help/advice....I'm driving myself crazy by moping around
>>> thinking of Professor G every day. I go out and have fun
>>> with my friends, but still, he's always there lurking in
>>> the back of my mind. I must stop this! Please help, in any
>>> way possible. I'm much too embarrassed to discuss this
>>> issue with either family or friends.
>>>

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